The Momnificent™ Blog

Win a Full Year of Childcare - $12,000 Value!

I remember when my first son was born, and I had to go back to work.  If I had it my way, I would have been able to stay home and take care of my son, but the fact was I needed to work.  I was so torn between finding a good quality daycare, or an in-home situation for my son.  Back then, 18 years ago, we had to find quality childcare the good old fashioned way - running an ad in the paper.  I remember putting together interview questions, and interviewing so many women for the position.  In the first two years of my son's life, I went through four different childcare providers.

Moms are always looking for quality childcare providers, babysitters, pet sitters and even elderly care for their aging parents.  Today, the industry has evolved and there are good quality services that help you match a care provider to your unique situation.

Care.com is the leader in babysitter and nanny referrals on the internet.  As a member of Care.com, you receive great benefits like free background checks, access to a discount shopping portal, and other great features.  They provide access to all your care needs:

• Childcare (Babysitters and Nannies)
• Special Needs Care
• Tutoring
• Senior Care
• Pet Care
• Housekeeping
• Concierge Services

Right now they are running a great promotion where 1 lucky person will win a year of free child care, a $12,000 value.  This sweepstakes expires October 9th, so you have to hurry and sign up.  This is a resource definitely worth checking out. 

Stop Dieting, Change Your Habits Instead

At 5'3", 108 pounds, most women automatically assume I don't have to watch my weight.  Internally, they believe I can eat whatever I want, and I will still be small.  While I do naturally have a small frame, nothing could be further than the truth.  The truth is that I work hard at maintaining my health and my body.  I like food just as much as the next person, and I have a terrible sweet tooth!!  Some days I don't feel like exercising; it's just another boring monotonous routine to go through.

I have a handful of clients that want to lose weight, and so the conversation normally centers around dieting.  Personally, I do not believe in diets.  Although some women have had success with them, I think it is much easier to change your lifestyle habits instead.  Diets, depending on the one you're on, make a woman feel deprived.  While everyone else around her is enjoying good food, she feels left out and unable to enjoy the wonderful tastes and smells of delicious food.  Typically what happens is, after too much deprivation, she caves in and "blows her diet".  The guilt sets in, and the cycle begins.

So how do we lose weight or maintain our weight if we don't diet?  Start working on changing your habits a little bit at a time.  Don't try to make drastic changes all at once because that rarely works.  Pick one small habit you can develop and work on that for 21 days - that's how long it takes to adopt a new habit.  So here are some small habits you can begin implementing today.

1. Cut your portions in half.  Eat a half a sandwich, or half the mashed potatoes.
2. Don't skip the dessert.  Pick small, lower calorie desserts like fudgsicles, 3 or 4 hershey's kisses, or 5 or 6 vanilla wafers.  (Ladies, we can't give up chocolate)
3. Pick lower fat and healthier foods.  Try ground turkey instead of ground beef, or 2% cheese, instead of full fat cheese.
4. Don't eat past 6:00 PM.  Prepare and eat dinners earlier.
5. After dinner, brush your teeth so you're not tempted to eat again.
6. If you dine out and have a big meal, eat only 2 meals that day.
7. Instead of being bored with exercise, pick something fun that exercises your body.  That's what I did when I joined Tae Kwon Do.
8. Start a walk and talk club with your friends.  You'll be so busy enjoying good conversation with your friends, you won't even know you're walking and exercising your body.
9. Don't like eating a bunch of plain fruit?  Throw the fruit into a blender with yogurt or soy protein powder and make a delicious smoothie.  I've had fruits I would never eat if I didn't blend them up.
10. Avoid high calorie drinks like juice, wine, beer and soda pop.  Stick to low calorie options instead.

Okay, pick a habit from these ten, or create one on your own.  Tell me.  What are you going to work on?

I am no expert on weight loss or anything else that pertains to nutrition, but Dr. Roger Gould, founder of the Shrink Yourself program is.  If emotional eating, binge eating or yo-yo diets have been a problem for you, it's worth it to check out his website.

Momnificent! Weekly Tips and Quotes

Every day I try and share a mom tip and quote that will inspire you on your motherhood journey.  This is my first week of starting this so we are short a few days.  Here is a recap of the tips and quotes from this week:

Momnificent! Tips of the Day

9/23 - Decide what new skill or habit you want or need to develop and act on it today.

9/24 - Integrate a fun and consistent exercise routine into your life.  Taking care of YOU is a great gift to your children.

9/25 - What have you been procrastinating on lately?  Get it done today.  You'll feel much better!

Quotes from The Momnificent! Life

9/24 - "There is always something to be learned from everything that happens in life."

9/25 - "When we surround ourselves with positive people that share like minds with us, we create a synergistic relationship."

Any Comments?

3 Questions to Ask to Maintain Better Balance in Life

Balance is such an elusive and mystical concept for many moms.  With schedules jam packed with work, parenting, household chores, and extracurricular activities, it’s no wonder many moms give up on the idea of living more balanced lives.  The truth is most moms still desire balance, on some level.  Answering and acting on these three questions can make a difference in how balanced you feel, internally and externally.

What are your values and emotional needs?

Life becomes unbalanced when we are not living in integrity with our values.  For instance, if you value creativity, but aren’t taking time to express this value in your life, there will be a void that creates imbalance for you.  Often times, a mom will feel internal stress when her emotional needs are not being met.  Whether you have a need to communicate, a need for order, or a need to feel secure, making sure these needs are met on a regular basis is crucial to living a balanced life.

How high are your expectations?

Many moms want to do it all.  They want to be their best at everything.  When you feel like you are not meeting the high standards you have set for yourself, guilt sets in, and you move further away from experiencing balance in your life.  Figure out what is most important to you, and do those things well.  Let some of the tasks and activities that have lesser importance slide a little.  Practice grace and compassion for yourself.

What is causing stress in your life?

Stress is the number one factor that will upset the balance in your life.  Whether it is parenting challenges, work or commuting demands, or time and organization issues causing stress, identify those stressors and take steps towards minimizing that stress.  Practice consistent self-care even if you feel like you don’t have time.  When you regularly nurture your emotional and physical health, balance will naturally return to your life because your ability to cope with stress increases.

Weighing In on your Child's Weight

Guest Author:  Abby Ellin

It happens almost every day: the mother of an overweight child approaches me and asks me what she can do to help her child. She doesn't want to make too big of a deal out of it, lest she cause an eating disorder. On the other hand, she doesn't want to ignore the problem, especially since fat can be unhealthy and, perhaps more specifically, overweight kids--heck, overweight PEOPLE in general--are treated so poorly in this culture. So what's a mom to do? It's a good question, and there are no easy answers. But I do know a few things, from my own experience as overweight adolescent, and from interviewing hundreds of kids and their parents on the matter.

And so, here are my top five tips (plus one extra!) for dealing with your overweight child:

Number one: Don't bug them about it! Chances are your child knows quite well that he or she has a weight problem; they don't need you to make a big deal out of it.

Two: That said...don't keep junk food in the house. Even if you have other children who don't have weight problems, this has to be a family effort. It's not fair to keep Twinkies and Devil Dogs in the kitchen cabinet and only allow certain members of the house to partake. The ENTIRE family has to get behind the child who is trying to lose weight. And anyway, junk food's not good for anyone (though let's be real--there are times when NOTHING beats a bucket of fries and a vanilla milkshake!).

Three: Be a role model. So many women have their own issues with their bodies, and they unwittingly pass their neuroses onto their offspring. Kids pick up on this, even at an early age. They digest those comments we all make: "Mommy's having a fat day!" or "My butt looks so huge in that!" It's best not to make weight a topic of concern, period. That means--yep--you might have to do a little introspection into your own feelings about size.

Four: Don't use the 'D' word. Diet is a terrible word; it's something you go on and off. For most people, weight is a lifelong battle; it doesn't get any easier, alas. It has to be thought of as a way of life, and not just something you do temporarily.

Five: Exercise! Unfortunately, so many schools have cut recess and gym, and kids are often tethered to their computers. It's no wonder there's an obesity problem. But there are gyms that cater to young people; there are video games, like Wii, that actually make you sweat (and burn a calorie or two). It's about being creative.

And lastly: Love them unconditionally! I've known kids who are perfectly fine with their size. It's their PARENTS who have problems with it. So if for some reason they're cool with their appearance, well, good for them! Unless there's a major health issue, if they're OK with their body size, you should be, too.

Abby Ellin is the editor-at-large for Fitsmi.com, and the author of "Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs in on Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help." You can find her at abbyellin.com

Top 10 Reasons Our Family Practices Tae Kwon Do

Our family has been practicing Tae Kwon Do for about 9 months now.  I am a huge advocate of martial arts for children and adults.  Here is why our family values Tae Kwon Do:

1.  Tae Kwon Do is a great workout!
2.  Tae Kwon Do allows our family to take care of our health together.
3.  Tae Kwon Do's main value is RESPECT.
4.  Tae Kwon Do teaches confidence and empowerment to somewhat shy children.
5.  Tae Kwon Do utilizes the process of goal setting to grow as individuals (belt ranks).
6.  Tae Kwon Do challenges you physically, emotionally and mentally.
7.  Tae Kwon Do promotes self-defense.
8.  Tae kwon Do requires you to practice focus.
9.  Tae Kwon Do values community and builds unity and family in their schools.
10. Tae Kwon Do is fun!

Here are a few pictures from our testing last night.  Ian and I were purple belts and earned our blue belts.

Ian and I are doing our combination kicks

Ian just broke his board with a hammer kick

I am getting ready to break my board with a hammer kick

Here is me, Ian and Master Lee after we earned our blue belts

Optimal Health: Omega 3 Fatty Acids and Brain Health in Children

I met Meredith recently at Panera - a mutual friend introduced us and we thought it would be fun to get to know each other.  Meredith knew I was a mom so she brought some sample vitamins and other supplements for children with her.  As much as I would have loved for my seven year old to start taking vitamins, I had serious doubts about him even trying them.  Armed with a colorful growth chart for kids, I took the samples home to Ian.  We had a talk about how important it is to be healthy and I encouraged him to try these yummy vitamins and "brainiums".  Reluctant at first, he decided to try them, and much to my surprise, he actually liked them!  I was so excited because I am a big fan of Omega 3 Fatty Acids (I take them myself).  As a mother of an older child with ADHD, I know how important these fatty acids can be for brain development and brain health.  So I asked Meredith to write a little piece on the importance of these essential fatty acids.  In the meantime, I am anxiously waiting for Ian's "Brainiums" to come in the mail.

By Meredith Nathan

Your child’s brain has about 100 billion cells at birth and about 200 billion by adulthood.  Each of these cell’s specialized job is to pass on electrical impulses, and to make exact copies of itself when it reproduces. Every move your child makes, as well as what he feels, thinks, remembers, and dreams is connected to these electrical impulses.  However, each cell’s ability to communicate and function relies upon key nutrients it receives from a balanced diet.  Omega-3 fatty acids,“good fats” derived mostly from cold-water fish, are critical nutrients to the brain health of children.

Proper levels of Omega 3s enhance functions of the brain such as memory, concentration, and behavior.  Yet many experts believe that the majority of American children are deficient in these essential fats.  When Omegas are lacking, poor learning, reasoning, and focus may result.  In fact, even behavioral problems such as ADHD have been linked with low Omega levels.  Some studies compare the effectiveness of Omega supplements to Ritalin in improving attention span and hyperactivity.

But how do we get these healthy fats into our children?  Omega-3s must be obtained from diet, and the best source is ocean-caught fish (such fish are less likely to contain mercury and other contaminants).  Yet here poses another challenge: how do you get a kid to eat fish at all, much less consistently?  Thankfully, convenient alternatives now exist through supplements.  Fish oil can be purchased on its own or in pill form.  Or, if swallowing pills is out of the question, omegas are also recently available in a chewable gummy form.  This clever, candy-like disguise can trick even the most picky eaters, and delivers the essential nutrients your child needs. For more information and solutions, please contact:

Meredith Nathan
866-544-7314
meredithnathan@ltdkate.com
http://mnathan.qhealthzone.com

What is Momnificent?

A few weeks ago, I ran a survey with my newsletter list asking them how they felt about the term "Momnificent".  I did not define it purposely because I wanted to see if moms would identify with it.  A few moms thought the term was ridiculous.  Some said it wasn't important to them, and some were confused by what it meant.  However, over 60% of moms that took the survey said they love it and they want to be momnificent!  I don't want to leave you in the dark about what this play on words actually means so I am going to define it for you and give you the results of the Momnificent survey.

Momnificent describes any mom that values living a healthy, positive, balanced and magnificent life.  It doesn't matter whether or not you feel momnificent because I understand that many moms struggle to live this kind of life.  It is not easy, and you don't have to do it perfectly to be momnificent.  If you are on my newsletter list, you are momnificent!  And there are many moms out there in this world that are momnificent, even though they haven't found my website to join the rest of us.  As a matter of fact, I don't think too many moms would say they don't want to live a momnificent life.  The question is how do you do it?  Without further waiting, I am now going to tell you how you can feel momnificent.  But remember, you are already momnificent even though you might not have mastered all of these 8 elements.  Here is your guideline for living a momnificent life:

1.  Having Confidence as a Woman and a Mom

According to the survey, 16.6% said they are extremely confident and feel great about who they are.  65.5% said they have average confidence, but would like to be more confident.  17.8% said they are somewhat confident but don't have time to focus on that.  No one said confidence was not important to them.

2.  Ability to Set Healthy Boundaries in Life

According to the survey, 6.3% said they are masters at setting boundaries.  68.9% said they are practicing setting better boundaries, but could still use some help.  22.9% said life would be a whole lot better if they learn to set boundaries.  1.7% said they've tried setting boundaries and it doesn't work, so they gave up.

3.  Positive Energy to Give to their Family and to the World

According to the survey, 4.5% said they have plenty of positive energy to give.  75.2% said some days they have positive energy, while other days they are irritable and tired.  17.8% said they are trying to manage all the things that drain their energy, but it's hard.  2.2% said they have very little motivation to do anything and they don't care.

4.  Creates and Maintains Positive and Supportive Relationships

According to the survey, 51.7% feel blessed to have so many positive and supportive relationships.  41.3% said they have a great marriage.  41.9% said they love their friends because they are so inspiring.  32% said their marriage is good, but could use more girlfriends.  18.9% said they have a lot of great friends, but their marriage could use some work.  41.9% said they feel like they need more positive relationships in their life.  33.9% said their relationship with God is very strong.  43.6% said they wish they had a better relationship with God.  2.8% said they don't believe in God.  41.3% said their relationship with money was healthy, while 33.9% said their relationship with money needs some work.  40.8% said their relationship with self is just as important as other relationships.  25.8% said they don't really think about having a relationship with self.  35.6% said they wish they had time to focus on having a relationship with their self.

5.  Lives a Balanced Life

According to the survey, 44.8% said living a balanced life is very important to them and they practice it all the time.  48.8% said life balance would be nice, but they either don't think it's realistic or they are struggling to maintain balance.  5.1% said they don't really try to have balance because they like their life the way it is.  It's clear that these 5.1% are probably balanced because they are satisfied with their life.

6.  Has a Spiritual Foundation

According to the survey, 63.7% said having a spiritual foundation is very important to them.  24.1% said they understand and honor their life purpose.  35% said they wish they knew what their life purpose was.  31.6% said they have a strong need to engage in regular spiritual practice.  24.7% said they use their gifts and talents for the greater good of the Universe.  34.4% said they want more spiritual direction in their life.

7.  Practices Regular Self-Care

According to the survey, 28.7% said they practice regular self-care because it makes them a better mom.  65.5% said self-care is important but it keeps falling to the bottom of their "to do" list.  3.4% said their life is dedicated to their children and self-care is not important to them.  2.2% said practicing self-care makes them feel selfish so they totally avoid it.

8.  Nurturing and Effective Parent

According to the survey, 14.3% said they are a natural born mother and it's what they do best.  76.4% said they have their normal struggles as a mom, but they are always trying to improve.  8% said nurturing doesn't come natural and they could really use help in this area.

So this is what "Momnificent" is all about.  It's just a guideline for helping moms live healthy, positive, balanced and magnificent lives.  I guarantee if you practice and grow in these elements, you will feel momnificent!

Be Proactive with your Health

A few weeks ago, one of my husband's colleagues sat in our kitchen laughing and joking around.  He played with my little boy and gave my husband a test spin in his new Ford Fusion.  Two evenings ago, while playing ice hockey, he suffered a massive heart attack and died.  Only 40 years old, he left behind a devastated wife and eight year old little girl.  Why am I telling you this?  Because I think there are some lessons to be learned from this experience.

1. Your life is precious and it's a gift that is given to you everyday.  Be grateful even during the tough times.
2. Your health is not something to ignore.  Even if you feel fine, regular check ups are essential.  Our friend had 90% blockage in one artery and 95% blockage in another.  I can't help but wonder what a routine check up and blood work might have revealed to save this man's life.
3. Know what your family history of disease is.  So many health problems we experience are hereditary.  Find out what you may be predisposed to and take precautions to prevent future health problems.  For instance, my son has diabetes on both sides of his family.  I am constantly reminding him to take it easy on the sugar because of his family history.  Diabetes is hereditary and he has two strikes against him.
4. Make sure your family is properly insured.  We never like to think about things like this happening to us, but it is a very real possibility.  Be prepared with plenty of life and disability insurance.
5. Do you have a will?  If something were to happen, who will take care of your children?  Where will your assets go?  If your finances are tight, there are do-it-yourself programs for creating your own will.
6. Whenever you lose someone close to you, especially at the very young age of 40, it always makes you stop and think about whether you are taking good care of your own health.  We have far too much education available to us regarding health risks to ignore it.  Eat healthy, exercise, use alcohol and caffeine in moderation, stop smoking and minimize stress.  You are only given one body - take care of it, for yourself and for your family.

Langerhans Cell Hystocytosis

Some great friends of ours have a little boy that was diagnosed with Langerhans Cell Hystocytosis (LCH) - a very rare disease that causes tumors to form on the bones.  Unfortunately, there is not a lot of research being done to cure this disease.  Greg Ngo is going to ride his bicycle across United States to raise money for this disease.  He is riding on behalf of our friend's little boy - Jack Thompson.  Many children lose their life to this disease.  If you regularly donate money to good causes, please consider this one.  You can make a tax deductible donation by clicking on this link.

Donate to the Langerhans Cell Hystocytosis Fund for Jack Thompson