The Momnificent™ Blog

How Do We Educate Our Children About Special Needs Children?

I have been having some interesting conversations over this past week with my son's little friends.  My son Ian, who is 9 years old, has been out of school for the past 2 weeks, due to the stresses and symptoms of pediatric bipolar disorder.  Because his ability to cope during the school day was deteriorating, his doctor pulled him out for a temporary period of time, and assigned him to a homebound tutor and hospital therapy program to practice his coping skills.

When a child is missing from school for 2 or 3 days, it's no big deal, but after awhile, the children begin to ask questions.  "Where's Ian?"  And of course, the school is not allowed to communicate anything for privacy reasons.  But it's not like my son is running a 102 fever and can't come out of the house and play. He can still do the same things any normal child can do, as long as he is having a good day.  So on the day of Ian's birthday, he invited one of his neighbor friends and classmates out to dinner with us.  This was the first time we had a conversation about why Ian had been absent.  And then our second conversation happened the other night when a classmate came over for a playdate.  Before we had a chance to explain to Ian's friend where Ian had been, Ian and his friend had struck up a conversation about it.  I almost died when I heard my son say to his friend "Just tell them I've been in a mental hospital".

This was definitely not the message I wanted to send to Ian's friends at school.  So at the dinner table we explained to his friend what bipolar disorder was in very simple language that he could understand, and helped him understand why his friend had been absent for so long.  With the rise of children with autism, Asperger's, bipolar, Tourette's, ADHD, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other special needs, whose job is it to educate our "normal" children about these disorders?  And what happens if we don't take the time to educate children?

What Happens if We Don't Educate Children About Special Needs Children?

What happened years ago when we didn't educate about diversity?  Segregation and isolation.  Blacks weren't allowed in the same schools with Whites.  Although we've come a long way, there is still a lot of diversity education that still needs to take place.  Without education, fear takes over.  Where there are differences, there is fear and judgment.  I remember a time when I was about 12 and I was sitting in an Assembly of God church, and all of a sudden, a number of people started speaking in tongue.  I was scared because I had never seen or heard this before.  No one explained to me what was going on.  I also remember a time when I was around 5 years old, and my grandmother's sister had just had brain surgery. I really didn't understand what was going on.  All I know was that I was scared to death and I wouldn't go inside my grandmother's apartment because this lady had a big white bandage on her head.

Many children with special needs are mainstreamed in the public schools today.  They are in the regular classroom, and in one moment, these children might be perfectly fine, but in another moment, they may get triggered and act out in a way that seems very odd, or maybe even scary to another child.  Why is Johnny barking like a dog or shrugging his shoulders uncontrollably?  Why is Mary washing her hands so many times?  Why is Ian screaming and throwing his folders on the floor?  What's going on?  She freaks out every time someone touches her.

If children are left to figure things out on their own, they just label these kids as weird and they ostracize them.  Some of the nicer children just ignore the special needs kids and go about their own business, and some of the meaner kids will make fun of them, and even do things to provoke them.  The playground, hallways, and lunchroom become the battlegrounds for bullying.  With a little education, we can teach our youth what is going on with our special needs children and possibly even enlist their support in helping these individuals.  Peers are an influential part of a child's life, and what a great way to teach our children compassion for human beings.

So Whose Responsibility is it To Educate our Children About Special Needs Children?

I believe it needs to be a collaborative effort.  Parents of special needs children know intimately what it's like to live with a special needs child.  But so often, there is such little support for these parents.  It shouldn't be that way.  Parents of non-special needs children need not be afraid of parents of special needs children.  You don't have to isolate your children from special needs children.  Take the time to learn about the disorder this child faces and be a support to this family.  Help your children understand what an autistic child goes through, or what Tourette's Syndrome is all about.  If you are a parent of a special needs child, don't be ashamed.  Educate people so they understand your child.

In addition to parents taking on the responsibility of education, both the educational institutions and doctors need to be involved in educating the public.  My son's teacher has never even taught a child who has pediatric bipolar disorder, so someone has to educate him on how to deal with this type of individual. There are many people that don't know that bipolar disorder exists in children, and is on the rise.  There could be many children that go completely undiagnosed.  The general population believes that kids are overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed, but the fact remains, there are a lot of hurting children and families in this world, and they need us to stand up for them.  So whether you have a special needs child or not, take the time to educate your children about how to care for and show compassion to the children that have special needs.

 

The Best Time for Bilingual Education - Early Childhood Learning

Of course, nobody knows what the future will hold – but if current trends continue, your child will grow up to enter a workforce in which the competition for decent-paying jobs will be nothing short of cut-throat. Despite the calls for greater co-operation and "interdependence," human nature being what it is, it's a good bet that the economy of the the future will operate according to the Law of the Jungle. It goes without saying that a good education is one of the best ways to prepare that child for survival in that economic jungle of the future.

The Bilingual Future

One of the future trends that has become certain is the existence of a diverse, global society. Nowhere is this more true than in the United States. Almost from the beginning, the U.S. has been a land of immigrants, and while the "melting pot" has been an interesting theory, it has not happened in practice. On the contrary, most major U.S. population centers have become more of an ethnic and linguistic checkerboard; Spanish, Russian, Vietnamese and Chinese speakers represent some of the fastest-growing segments of the immigrant U.S. population.

In addition, with the rise of China, English may very well lose its preeminence as the international language of business; at best, it will have to share that top status with Mandarin in decades to come.

Getting Ready

Traditional wisdom has been to start teaching a second language in middle school, or even high school. Yet numerous research studies clearly demonstrate that the optimal period in a child's life for multilingual education is during the preschool years – at exactly the same time they are learning their first language. Yes, it is possible to learn a second and third language later in life, but it is more difficult, because that neurological "window of opportunity" – when the brain is most malleable – has passed.

According to Dr. Fred Genessee, Professor of Psychology at McGill University in Montreal, it's as easy for young children to learn two or three languages as it is for them to learn one. He's not alone; educators throughout the world (in countries that often have two or even three official languages) have understood this for decades.

The way a child learns a second language is by actually speaking it in a total immersion environment. You may recall an episode of the animated series The Simpsons in which young Bart gets trapped on a farm in France – and by the end of the episode, finds he's actually speaking the language. While this was a fictional scenario, the phenomenon is real; anyone who has taken young children abroad to stay with relatives in a foreign country for any length of time has observed this happening.

Enrollment in a preschool program that offers immersion in other languages is the best way to get your child started.  This investment will make him/her much more competitive in the job market later on.

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas

Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the Austin day care facility, a member of the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose Schools (located in 16 states throughout the U.S.) and part of the network of day care preschools delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum.

 

Surrender and Be Who You Are

A coach friend of mine, and father of two children, recently emailed me this article from Christianity Today titled "White Flag in the Mommy Wars".  After reading this article, I felt saddened by all the debates that go on about how to be a mom.

Aside from outright abuse or neglect, there is no right way or wrong way to be a mom.  A working mom is great!  A stay at home mom is wonderful too!  My kids grew up on formula, and lots of breastfed babies are thriving too.  Time out works for some kids.  Other kids respond to losing privileges or reasonable explanations.

Even though my youngest son is almost 8 years old, one of the books we still read today is called "The Mommy Book" by Todd Parr.  In this simply written and illustrated book, Todd celebrates every mommy, regardless of who they are.  As my son and I turn the pages and read about the different mommies, he nods his head if his mom is like that, or shakes his head no if that page does not represent his mommy.

Some mommies drive minivans (not me)

Some mommies wear jeans (yep, that's me)

Some mommies play in the rain with you (no, not me)

All mommies like to hang out with you!

Some mommies like to cook. (no, sorry not me)

Some mommies like to order pizza (much more fun than cooking)

All mommies love to kiss and hug you!

The point of this book and the article at Christianity Today is that it is okay to be who you are as a mom.  It's fine and acceptable to read what the "experts" say, but in the end, we have to decide for ourselves what works for us and our family.  Every mom and every child is unique.  Every family situation is different. 

Judging those moms that are different than us is not productive.  Feeling guilty because we are different than other moms is a waste of precious energy as well.  Instead, focus on the beauty that every mom and child brings to this world.  Look at our differences as an opportunity to learn more about who we are on a deeper level. 

Go out and celebrate the mom that you are, and throw up the white flag to all the mommy debates!

What do you think about all the debates on the right way and wrong way to be a mom?

P.S.  Todd Parr also wrote a book called "The Daddy Book".

National Mom's Night Out

How often do you get out for a mom's night out?  Well, now you have a completely excuse-free, guilt-free reason to get out because next Thursday night, May 7th is National Mom's Night Out.  I'm giving you a week's notice to plan something totally fun for yourself and maybe a group of girlfriends.  Get your babysitter lined up right away so you can't fall back on the "I don't have a sitter" excuse.  Here are some ideas to create a fun night you'll want to do more often than once a year.

• Make a vision board - cut out pictures and sayings from magazines that represent your best life and your goals for this year.
• Have a game night - break out all the fun group board games and laugh until you cry
• Create an in-home spa night and give each other manicures, pedicures, massages and facials or schedule a group spa night at your favorite local spa
• Pick a really good chick flick and go to the movies
• Plan an artsy evening and do any kind of creative expression: ceramics, scrap booking, paint dishes, mosaic art, stamping, etc.
• Go out to an adventurous restaurant you've never been to before
• Go dancing to your favorite kind of music or indulge yourself in a little fun with karaoke
• Schedule an active outing like hiking, biking, group walk/run, or a fun game of softball, volleyball, bowling, or mini golf

For more ideas and for mom events going on in your area, visit the National Mom's Night Out website.

What Do You Buy the Mother Who Has Everything?

By Betsy Talbot

The mother I’m speaking of is Mother Nature.  April 22 is Earth Day, and this week people around the world are making an extra effort to be considerate of this little planet we call home.

 

But do we have to wait for Earth Day to show a little love?  Moms everywhere would agree that Mother’s Day is great, but a little appreciation those other 364 days would be nice, too.

 

How can your family help Mother Nature stay healthy every day?

 

Parents

Do you buy coffee on your way to work or to drop off the kids at school? Switch to a stainless steel mug and keep 250+ cups and lids from going to the landfill every year.

 

Buy your produce locally at farmers’ markets.  All that excess packaging and fuel for transport will be spared and you’ll be helping the local economy (not to mention eating fresher, more delicious food).  You can also teach your kids the skill of negotiation.

 

Keep a few canvas totes in your car or by your front door.  You’ll have much sturdier bags to carry groceries, and you’ll save all those plastic bags from going to the landfill.

 

Make it a habit to donate items quarterly – toys, clothes, food.  Almost all of us have more than we need, and donating regularly teaches your children to be compassionate to others and practical about their own possessions.

 

Kids

If you set up a recycling center in your home, your kids will be able to maintain it.  Even small children can put cans and cereal boxes in the appropriate bins, and they learn leadership skills when put in charge of a household task.

 

For every new toy a child receives, and old toy can be donated.  When we are less attached to material things we have more emotional and physical freedom.  What better age to learn this than before credit card eligibility!

Participating in a community cleanup project with a Scout troop, school, or other service program teaches children the value of teamwork.

 

Resources for Recycling

·        Find out how to recycle just about anything in your area at Earth911.

·        Remove yourself from junk mail lists at Catalog Choice or the Direct Marketing Association.

·        Teach your children about recycling at The Kids Recycling Zone.

 

Betsy Talbot writes about simplicity and lifestyle design at www.marriedwithluggage.com

Feed my Starving Children

Today is Global Food Crisis Day and this is one cause that I feel compelled to fight for.  God is always tugging on my heart to do whatever I can to help feed starving children around the world.  Feed My Starving Children is an organization that my company supports, and there is nothing more gratifying than knowing that I can use my gifts and passions to not only make a difference in the lives of moms, but also help fight world hunger.  These hunger facts are startling:

• One person in seven goes to bed hungry every day.
• One-third of the world's population is undernourished.
• There are 25,000 starvation-related deaths each day.
• Each night more than 300 million children go to bed hungry.
• Each day, over 12,000 children (one every 7 seconds) die from hunger-related causes.
• Approximately 146 million or 27 percent of children under age 5 in developing countries are underweight.
• Nearly 17 percent of babies in developing countries are born with a low birth weight compared with only 7 percent of babies in industrialized countries.
• More than 4.4 million children die from malnutrition each year.
• Worldwide, 161 million preschool children suffer chronic malnutrition.

(Sources: www.one.org, www.bread.org, www.unicef.org, www.who.int, www.unep.org)

The good news is that it doesn't cost much to contribute to this cause.  Please take a look at this video and consider making a donation or volunteering at a local Feed My Starving Children packing facility.  May God bless you and your family!

The Effects of Presidential Change

You either stayed up late last night or heard the news first thing this morning.  Whether you voted for Barack Obama or not, he is our new United States President.

Supporters of Obama may be feeling hopeful this morning, while supporters of McCain may feel discouraged or even scared.  With change comes uncertainty and a fear of the unknown.  None of us truly have any way to predict what changes will take place in our country as the result of Obama being our new president.  In reality, we don't have a tremendous amount of power over what takes place with our government.  We did what we thought was best by voting into office the candiates we felt would bring about the change we wanted to see.

While our government goes through the process of change at the White House, we too can learn to embrace change.  Nothing you say or do is going to change the outcome of the election, but there are some things you can do to ease into this transition.

First, it can be helpful to accept that Obama is our new president.  Although you may not agree with everything Obama represents, he does have positive strengths and characteristics.  Take a moment to acknowledge that.  Even though you may disagree with Obama it does not mean the man is not worthy of recognition for what he does bring to the table.  For me personally, I value intelligence and there is no doubt Obama is an extremely intelligent man.  Not everyone can graduate at the top of Harvard Law School.  Look for the positive you see in Obama and focus on that.

Secondly, if you're feeling fearful of what the new changes will mean to you, face those fears head on.  What are you afraid is going to happen to you and your family?  How likely is it that your fears will actually come true?  Sometimes our imagined fears don't actually come to fruition.  What is your plan if your fears do come true?  How will you respond?  Having a strategic plan in place can help you feel empowered to conquer whatever comes your way.

Third, you can be the change you wish to see in your own family, community, nation or world.  You don't have to stand back and watch the government bring about change.  Empower yourself to change what you can change.  Much of the anxiety that people experience during times of transition stems from the perceived lack of control.  You always have choices for your own life.  It doesn't matter if McCain or Obama is the president, you can be a catalyst for change.  You have the power to create your own future.

Defying Hurricane Ike

There is something I just do not understand.  What makes people ignore authorities, especially when the experts say they may face uncertain death?  Why would people choose to stay in a city that is going to get hit with a category 3 hurricane?

I lived in Houston when Hurricane Alicia hit Galveston in August of 1983.  I have never seen a storm anything like that.  I remember watching from my bedroom window at 4:00 in the morning.  Trees were down everywhere and the winds were unbelievable!  We spent the next 5 days without any electricity.

Let us pray for the residents of Galveston and Houston, Texas, especially the ones that chose to stay in their homes through the storm.  May the search and rescue teams find everyone that is trapped, and may we all pull together as a nation to help our fellow Americans in whatever way we can.