Guest Author: Abby Ellin
It happens almost every day: the mother of an overweight child
approaches me and asks me what she can do to help her child. She
doesn't want to make too big of a deal out of it, lest she cause an
eating disorder. On the other hand, she doesn't want to ignore the
problem, especially since fat can be unhealthy and, perhaps more
specifically, overweight kids--heck, overweight PEOPLE in general--are
treated so poorly in this culture. So what's a mom to do? It's a good
question, and there are no easy answers. But I do know a few things,
from my own experience as overweight adolescent, and from interviewing
hundreds of kids and their parents on the matter.
And so, here are my top five tips (plus one extra!) for dealing with your overweight child:
Number one: Don't bug them about it! Chances are your child knows quite well that he or she has a weight problem; they don't need you to make a big deal out of it.
Two: That said...don't keep junk food in the house. Even if you have other children who don't have weight problems, this has to be a family effort. It's not fair to keep Twinkies and Devil Dogs in the kitchen cabinet and only allow certain members of the house to partake. The ENTIRE family has to get behind the child who is trying to lose weight. And anyway, junk food's not good for anyone (though let's be real--there are times when NOTHING beats a bucket of fries and a vanilla milkshake!).
Three: Be a role model. So many women have their own issues with their bodies, and they unwittingly pass their neuroses onto their offspring. Kids pick up on this, even at an early age. They digest those comments we all make: "Mommy's having a fat day!" or "My butt looks so huge in that!" It's best not to make weight a topic of concern, period. That means--yep--you might have to do a little introspection into your own feelings about size.
Four: Don't use the 'D' word. Diet is a terrible word; it's something you go on and off. For most people, weight is a lifelong battle; it doesn't get any easier, alas. It has to be thought of as a way of life, and not just something you do temporarily.
Five: Exercise! Unfortunately, so many schools have cut recess and gym, and kids are often tethered to their computers. It's no wonder there's an obesity problem. But there are gyms that cater to young people; there are video games, like Wii, that actually make you sweat (and burn a calorie or two). It's about being creative.
And lastly: Love them unconditionally! I've known kids who are perfectly fine with their size. It's their PARENTS who have problems with it. So if for some reason they're cool with their appearance, well, good for them! Unless there's a major health issue, if they're OK with their body size, you should be, too.
Abby Ellin is the editor-at-large for Fitsmi.com, and the author of "Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs in on Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help." You can find her at abbyellin.com
And so, here are my top five tips (plus one extra!) for dealing with your overweight child:
Number one: Don't bug them about it! Chances are your child knows quite well that he or she has a weight problem; they don't need you to make a big deal out of it.
Two: That said...don't keep junk food in the house. Even if you have other children who don't have weight problems, this has to be a family effort. It's not fair to keep Twinkies and Devil Dogs in the kitchen cabinet and only allow certain members of the house to partake. The ENTIRE family has to get behind the child who is trying to lose weight. And anyway, junk food's not good for anyone (though let's be real--there are times when NOTHING beats a bucket of fries and a vanilla milkshake!).
Three: Be a role model. So many women have their own issues with their bodies, and they unwittingly pass their neuroses onto their offspring. Kids pick up on this, even at an early age. They digest those comments we all make: "Mommy's having a fat day!" or "My butt looks so huge in that!" It's best not to make weight a topic of concern, period. That means--yep--you might have to do a little introspection into your own feelings about size.
Four: Don't use the 'D' word. Diet is a terrible word; it's something you go on and off. For most people, weight is a lifelong battle; it doesn't get any easier, alas. It has to be thought of as a way of life, and not just something you do temporarily.
Five: Exercise! Unfortunately, so many schools have cut recess and gym, and kids are often tethered to their computers. It's no wonder there's an obesity problem. But there are gyms that cater to young people; there are video games, like Wii, that actually make you sweat (and burn a calorie or two). It's about being creative.
And lastly: Love them unconditionally! I've known kids who are perfectly fine with their size. It's their PARENTS who have problems with it. So if for some reason they're cool with their appearance, well, good for them! Unless there's a major health issue, if they're OK with their body size, you should be, too.
Abby Ellin is the editor-at-large for Fitsmi.com, and the author of "Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs in on Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help." You can find her at abbyellin.com
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