The Momnificent™ Blog

Last Day to Receive All Your FREE Bonuses

For the month of May, we have been celebrating moms with the launch of my new book "The Momnificent Life ~ Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms".

Today, May 31st, 2009 is the last day to receive the 13 free bonus gifts with the purchase of the book.  Jump on over to the promotion page and take advantage of this celebration.

For those of you who have already purchased the book, I just want to say thank you, and may my book be a blessing to all who read it.

 

Be Intentional About Motherhood

An excerpt from The Momnificent Life - Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms
By Lori Radun

What would make motherhood more enjoyable for you?  Take the time to reflect on what needs to change in your family to increase the level of enjoyment for you.  Be intentional about those changes.  Maybe you want to make time to take care of yourself as a mother.  Perhaps you long to be a more consistent parent.  This month I am focusing on encouraging independence in my family.  My motto is "everyone will do what they are capable of doing for themselves."  Not only does this teach my children valuable skills, it frees me from unnecessary responsibility and gives me more time to be with my family.  Setting intentions help you create a life you love.

Motherhood is always changing and what works today may not work tomorrow.  To be truly effective and to enjoy the journey of motherhood, we have to be on our toes all the time.  Take time on a regular basis to evaluate your family.  What is the temperature of the family?  What would make the experience of family life more enjoyable for everyone?  Get in the habit of setting family goals and teach your children about the importance of setting personal goals by being an example of personal growth yourself.

The Super, Sexy, Single Mom on a Budget

I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Renee Rayles, author of The Super, Sexy, Single Mom on a Budget.  With her cute little Southern accent, she was an absolute joy to talk with.  Since both of us are new mom authors, we decided to trade books and see what secrets we could learn from each other.

Although I am a married mom, I could definitely relate to being a single mom on a budget.  Once upon a time, I was a single mom.  And these days, almost everyone is on a budget.  Renee is a strong, confident woman with a go-getter attitude and her book is packed with tips for moms who want to save money, as well as wisdom for the single mom who wants encouragement on achieving her dreams while being a single mom.

What I especially liked about Renee's book is that it is short, sweet and to the point.  As a reader who reads many books at one time, I liked that I was able to finish this book quickly.  My personal favorite was Chapter 3 - Material Girl on a Budget.  Hey, what woman doesn't like shopping?  Renee shares her tips for saving money on clothes, home goods, gifts, entertainment, children's fundraisers and more.

Throughout her guide book are "sexy tips" like "Cruises provide a place for children to be supervised while mom can go get a massage" or "Get an education - knowledge is sexy."

Don't let single motherhood stop you from having what you want for yourself and your family.  There are resources out there to help you.

Optimal Health: Omega 3 Fatty Acids and Brain Health in Children

I met Meredith recently at Panera - a mutual friend introduced us and we thought it would be fun to get to know each other.  Meredith knew I was a mom so she brought some sample vitamins and other supplements for children with her.  As much as I would have loved for my seven year old to start taking vitamins, I had serious doubts about him even trying them.  Armed with a colorful growth chart for kids, I took the samples home to Ian.  We had a talk about how important it is to be healthy and I encouraged him to try these yummy vitamins and "brainiums".  Reluctant at first, he decided to try them, and much to my surprise, he actually liked them!  I was so excited because I am a big fan of Omega 3 Fatty Acids (I take them myself).  As a mother of an older child with ADHD, I know how important these fatty acids can be for brain development and brain health.  So I asked Meredith to write a little piece on the importance of these essential fatty acids.  In the meantime, I am anxiously waiting for Ian's "Brainiums" to come in the mail.

By Meredith Nathan

Your child’s brain has about 100 billion cells at birth and about 200 billion by adulthood.  Each of these cell’s specialized job is to pass on electrical impulses, and to make exact copies of itself when it reproduces. Every move your child makes, as well as what he feels, thinks, remembers, and dreams is connected to these electrical impulses.  However, each cell’s ability to communicate and function relies upon key nutrients it receives from a balanced diet.  Omega-3 fatty acids,“good fats” derived mostly from cold-water fish, are critical nutrients to the brain health of children.

Proper levels of Omega 3s enhance functions of the brain such as memory, concentration, and behavior.  Yet many experts believe that the majority of American children are deficient in these essential fats.  When Omegas are lacking, poor learning, reasoning, and focus may result.  In fact, even behavioral problems such as ADHD have been linked with low Omega levels.  Some studies compare the effectiveness of Omega supplements to Ritalin in improving attention span and hyperactivity.

But how do we get these healthy fats into our children?  Omega-3s must be obtained from diet, and the best source is ocean-caught fish (such fish are less likely to contain mercury and other contaminants).  Yet here poses another challenge: how do you get a kid to eat fish at all, much less consistently?  Thankfully, convenient alternatives now exist through supplements.  Fish oil can be purchased on its own or in pill form.  Or, if swallowing pills is out of the question, omegas are also recently available in a chewable gummy form.  This clever, candy-like disguise can trick even the most picky eaters, and delivers the essential nutrients your child needs. For more information and solutions, please contact:

Meredith Nathan
866-544-7314
meredithnathan@ltdkate.com
http://mnathan.qhealthzone.com

The Case Against "The Perfect Mother"

This morning I spoke with a writer that is doing a piece about momtourages.  We started our conversation talking about the various people that make up a mom's support network, and inevitably found ourselves discussing the guilt that so many mothers experience and the unreasonable expectations that go with it.

And then I ran into an article in which U.S. writer Ayelet Waldman says she "felt it was time to branch out and take a stand against the current trend of perfecting parenting -- and the guilt that goes with it."  As a recovering perfectionist myself, I can tell you from experience that perfection is an illusion, and the stress perfectionism causes in a mother's life is simply not worth it.  While I understand moms want to do their best when raising their children, there is a difference between excellence and perfection.  I say we all adopt a new and healthier model, one that values excellence instead of perfection.

How to Recognize Perfectionism in Yourself or Your Children

1.  Perfectionists like to be in control, and are uncomfortable with spontaneity.
2.  Perfectionists may procrastinate, waiting for the ideal circumstances to begin a project.
3.  Perfectionists have a high need for order, and feel stressed when things are out of order.
4.  Perfectionists have high expectations of themselves and others, and often direct criticism towards themselves and others when those expectations are not met.
5.  Perfectionists are afraid of making mistakes.
6.  Perfectionists fear judgment from other people.
7.  Perfectionists take on more than they can handle because it's difficult for them to allow others to help.
8.  Perfectionists often get stuck in black and white thinking (perfection vs. failure, right way vs. wrong way, and all vs. nothing)
9.  Perfectionists are rarely satisfied with their best because their best is never good enough.
10. Perfectionists often avoid taking risks because they fear failure.

Ways to Begin Breaking the Chains of Perfectionism

1.  Examine the underlying beliefs that reinforce perfectionism.  (i.e. If I make mistakes, people will judge me)
2.  Challenge these beliefs by thinking of experiences that do not support your beliefs. (i.e. When was the last time life was not perfect, but you still had control?)
3.  Acknowledge your fears and act with courage despite these fears.
4.  Challenge yourself to be uncomfortable with doing things differently.  (i.e. Start a project even though the cirumstances aren't perfect or Ask for help knowing your helper will do things differently than you).
5.  Speak words of affirmation that support new and empowering beliefs. (Life is never going to be perfect and that is okay.  Mistakes are just opportunities for me to learn; they do not define me.)
6.  Practice setting reasonable expectations for yourself and other people.
7.  Affirm yourself often and avoid beating yourself up.
8.  Stay focused on what is important to you and let go of worry about what other people think.
9.  Break projects into baby steps and give yourself permission to do a little bit at a time.
10. Plan a "spontaneous" day where nothing is planned and anything you choose to do or not do is okay.

Hug and Kiss My Senior Good-Bye

I received an email from the Batavia High School Key Club the other day.  They are running a special program that enables people to send a heartfelt message delivered with a bag of Hershey's Hug and Kiss candies to a special graduating senior.

As I stood in the shower this morning, thinking about what I wanted to tell my graduating senior and first son, the tears began to stream down my face.  This isn't the first time I have started crying when I think about my son going away, and I know it won't be the last.

I wonder if he realizes how much I love him, and how much I am going to miss him.  As he runs around with his friends, making the most of his last year of high school, I wonder if he knows how proud I am of him.  I wonder if I have taught him everything I know about life.  I think about how he's going to do on his own.  Will he miss me the way I am going to miss him? 

I think back to the day he was born and I am filled with gratitude for all the years I have been able to spend with him.  I want more years at home with him, but I know it's time to send him off into the world to grow up.  Have I equipped him with everything he needs to know how to do?  Does he know he can still call me if he needs help?

Does every mom's heart ache the way mine does right now?  One of my client's once said to me "You'll send your "boy" away to college, and he'll come home to you a "man".  I want my son to become a man, but I don't want to lose my boy.

Tonight I will honor my senior on the baseball field tonight for "Senior Night".  On Thursday, I will watch him receive recognition for his accomplishments and scholarships for "Senior Honor Night".  And in just a few weeks I will watch him walk the stage to graduate with Gold honors.  Each evening is a special recognition of all my son has become, but it's also one evening closer to the drive we will make to the University of Missouri in Columbia.

I will miss his dancing and the joy he brings with his sense of humor.  I will miss him asking me to make him breakfast.  I will miss our shared values, and our moments when it was just me and him.  I will even miss the sassy attitude and the nights he called me to tell me he crashed my car.  I will miss all the times we played baseball together in the backyard and all the times I tried to help him navigate his way through life.

So as I prepared my message, I thought about what I wanted to say to him.  I was only given 5 lines to express myself so it had to be something meaningful but short.  This is the message he will receive with his bag of Hug and Kiss Hershey's candy (and he doesn't even like chocolate):

Well, I don't think I need to tell you that I am going to miss you because you know that.  I do want to tell you that I love you and I am very proud of you.  Always stay true to your heart, follow your passions and work hard.  Live a Godly life and you will always be happy.  Love Always, Mom.

I don't think the message even comes close to what all is on my heart as I prepare to say good-bye to my senior.  I thank God for his presence in my life, and I pray that his journey through college will be a happy one.  I pray that God will use the unique gifts He gave him, and I especially pray that my son will recognize his gifts and what he has to offer the world.

I know he will come back home, but he will be different and that is okay.  These tears I shed are temporary and part of the transition.  I honor these tears as they prepare me to grieve the loss of the relationship we have today, and celebrate the relationship we will be blessed to share in the future.

New Complimentary Momnificent! Teleclass

I just wanted to let you know there is a new, complimentary teleclass posted on my website.  You can download the class handouts to follow along while you listen.  Here is a description of the class:

MOMNIFICENT! - A Feeling, A Mindset, and a Way of Life

(not just for moms - for all women)

The path to a happy family begins with a happy mother.  It’s not always easy being our best as moms, but with the right ingredients, we have the ability to be extraordinary role models for our children on how to live magnificent lives.  In this presentation, Lori Radun, founder of Momnificent! will share the 8 essential ways moms can be supported to live peaceful, positive and healthy lives.  These important life skills will help you feel fulfilled as a mom, strengthen your family unit, and ultimately lay the groundwork for future generations.  Prepare to be inspired and encouraged on your motherhood journey.

To listen to the 1 hour teleclass and download the class handouts, visit the Press & Media section of our website under Audio.  Class title is "Lori Radun Teleconference with Spa Girl Parties, Inc."

What's on your Energy Drain List?

I am so proud of one of my readers.  Her name is Sue, and she has been reading my new book "The Momnificent Life - Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms".  In chapter 18 of the book, Cultivating Joy in Everyday Living, I ask readers to make a list of all the tasks and activities in their life that drain their energy and put them in a grumpy mood.  To give you an example, some of the items on my "energy drain list" are cold weather, negative people, clutter, loud noises and overeating.  Sue shared with me her great success with this exercise.

Dear Lori,

I have been reading and your book and using it as a study -- Chapter 18.

My mom has been saying over and over that she needs something to do.  She says she does not have enough to do and no one needs her anymore.

So I tried an experiment this week that I hope will work in many areas of her and my life.  I love to clean house (it is a stress reliever for me) -- but hate grocery shopping -- so I said to mom...

Would you like to do my grocery shopping for my family on Mondays while I do my weekly cleaning -- I will pay for your groceries too and give you $20.00 for gas to come over to do it.  (Mom rarely spends over $30.00 per week in groceries).  I told her to go to Fareway -- they put the groceries in your car and when she gets to my house -- I will unload them.  My cleaning for the week would be done and then I would take her out to lunch.  We tried it on Monday.

It worked!  It was a win/win situation.  I got rid of a chore I did not like -- mom got her groceries and gas for the week and something to do.  Plus lunch.

I also told her that if any time she did not like doing this - then no worries.  I also told her I understand that she would not want to do it in the winter.

I told her how much "she" was helping me out because grocery shopping is an activity I hate.

Your book is teaching me some new skills -- I thank you.  I gave permission to myself to ask for help and gave my mom "a sense of being needed."  Win/win.

Sue

Great work Sue! 

What could you take off your "energy drain list" this week?

My Wish the Movie

One of my readers just left me a link to a very inspiring movie called "My Wish".  After watching it, it reminded me of why I do what I do.  Six years ago, I had a dream to be a coach for moms and to make a difference in this world.  Today my dream has come true, and it continues to come true everyday. 

Every day I get to work with amazing moms, helping them to identify and fulfill their dreams.  Sometimes when we become moms, we get so wrapped up in taking care of our children that we forget about our dreams.  Other times a mom's dream is to be a mom, and to be the best mom she can.  It doesn't matter what your dreams are; what matters is that you follow your dreams.  Pay attention to that tugging in your heart that tells you what your wishes are.

My philosophy on life is that we only get one life to live, so why not go all out and live it to the fullest?  We don't have to put our lives on hold because we have children.  There is no greater gift you can give your children than to allow them to see you following your heart and dreams!  This inspires them to have dreams and believe in their ability to achieve them.

Following our dreams is not always easy.  There will be moments of joy, and times when we feel utterly discouraged and want to give up.  Don't give up on any dream you have.  Allow your heart to take over; push aside those nagging voices inside and outside of you, and just keep moving forward.  You owe it to this world and to your family to be everything God created you to be.  And God created you with gifts and a passion to live your dreams.

So get out there and be true to your heart!

For a step by step guide to identifying and fulfilling your dreams, check out Express Yourself!

Be inspired, and watch the movie My Wish!

Happy Mother's Day - The Importance of Taking Care of Oneself

By: Rajashree Choudhury

I’m a mom.

I am also a woman, a wife, a daughter and a friend.

I am wearing many hats and doing so is not always easy. 

Being a "great mom" sounds like a lot of work. You are already do so much and still do not feel as though you fit the profile. You think there must be more to being a "great mom." You must be missing one piece of the puzzle that will give you the glory of motherhood. But what is it?

Hopefully after reading this article, you will feel energized and recharged, and you may be surprised to find out you’ve been a "great mom" all the while. Obviously, a great mom loves her kids, takes care of their basic physical and emotional needs, and spends quality time with them.

But what are the subtler, less obvious ways to become a great mom?

1. Stay true to yourself You don’t have to give up your own passions and interests once you become a mom. It’s important you find time for what YOU love to do. Reading, writing, exercising, yoga – make these a priority and find a way to incorporate these into your routine. Easier said than done, I know, but you should at least aim to keep doing what you love, even if you don’t get to do it as often as before. If you take care of your own needs, you will be happier and will function better as a mom.

2. Don’t be a martyr. Need some time alone? Let the kids watch TV for an hour and go read a book. Feel like you haven’t had adult interaction in ages? Leave them with Dad for the evening and make plans to have dinner with a friend. Getting to the point where you are utterly exhausted is not good for you or the kids.

3. Don’t try to be perfect. This is true for life in general, and is a major personal goal of mine, regardless of motherhood. Striving for perfection is always a bad idea, because life is messy and unpredictable and full of surprises. Trying to create perfection, or to maintain complete control, is seldom possible and should not be your goal. Once you become a mom, life is messier and crazier than ever before, so it’s more important than ever to let go of that perfectionism. You need to accept that the house will sometimes be untidy, that once in a while dinner will be takeout, and that the kids will sometimes have to entertain themselves while you recharge and regroup.

4. Ditch the guilt. Guilt seems to be one of the most common side effects of motherhood. Once you make a decision, whether a major one like staying at home vs. going back to work, or a small one like allowing the kids to play a computer game while you have some time for yourself, try to avoid second-guessing yourself. You are doing the best that you can. No one is perfect, and you are not expected to be a perfect mom or to never make mistakes. As long as you love them and provide their basic needs, your kids will turn out fine – really.

5. Be Patient. Raising kids is hard work. Kids are noisy, messy and incredibly demanding. Yes, you will lose your patience once in a while. Motherhood has taught me to be more patient than I ever thought I could possibly be.

6. Listen to your children. REALLY listen. We tend to assume that we know more than our kids do, which is true to some extent of course, so we don’t really bother to listen. In addition, we often act as problem-solvers, dishing immediate advice, when all they need is for us to listen to them.

7. Be their mom, not their friend. Set limits. In a way, it was easy for previous generations. Parents were parents. Kids were kids. Families were patriarchal. Everyone listened to and obeyed the father. Now, families are democratic. We negotiate, talk things over, and listen to each other. We make important decisions together. This is great, but kids still need us to be their parents and set clear limits. We should listen to them and respect them – but we are not their peers.

8. Teach them simplicity. You will do them a big – a HUGE – favor, if you teach them at a young age to avoid associating happiness with the accumulation of material possessions. The younger they are, the more likely they are to listen to you, so start early.

9. Teach them self-esteem. High self-esteem is the single most important gift that a parent can give their kids. A person with a high self-esteem values herself and will not get into, or stay in, an abusive relationship. A person with high self-esteem is more likely to be happy and to reach her full potential. How do you teach your kids self-esteem? By showing them that you value them, by spending time with them, and by talking with them and listening to them.

10. Laugh and have fun! When you’re a mom, it’s easy to become so absorbed in the logistics of taking care of your kids – the “mom stuff” we deal with every day - that you forget to relax and have fun. But kids are fun. They give you a wonderful opportunity to be a child all over again, and to do things that you never thought you would do as an adult (jumping in puddles is so much fun!) and see the world through their innocent, curious eyes. Haven’t noticed interesting insects and colorful butterflies in several years? You are going to start noticing them again once you have kids.

How many hats are YOU wearing? Do you have any tips for doing it all and keeping your sanity? Do you ever feel guilty because you are not giving 100% to any single aspect of your life?

Please contact me at rajashree@bikramyoga.com to learn more about how to better juggle all the conflicting demands made on you.

 

Rajashree Choudhury is the wife of Bikram Choudhury, the founder of the world's "hottest" school of yoga.  Rajashree conducts seminars on yoga and personal development worldwide and is well-known for her highly-acclaimed pregnancy yoga class.  Look for Bikram Yoga Studios in your area.