The Momnificent™ Blog

National Mom's Night Out

How often do you get out for a mom's night out?  Well, now you have a completely excuse-free, guilt-free reason to get out because next Thursday night, May 7th is National Mom's Night Out.  I'm giving you a week's notice to plan something totally fun for yourself and maybe a group of girlfriends.  Get your babysitter lined up right away so you can't fall back on the "I don't have a sitter" excuse.  Here are some ideas to create a fun night you'll want to do more often than once a year.

• Make a vision board - cut out pictures and sayings from magazines that represent your best life and your goals for this year.
• Have a game night - break out all the fun group board games and laugh until you cry
• Create an in-home spa night and give each other manicures, pedicures, massages and facials or schedule a group spa night at your favorite local spa
• Pick a really good chick flick and go to the movies
• Plan an artsy evening and do any kind of creative expression: ceramics, scrap booking, paint dishes, mosaic art, stamping, etc.
• Go out to an adventurous restaurant you've never been to before
• Go dancing to your favorite kind of music or indulge yourself in a little fun with karaoke
• Schedule an active outing like hiking, biking, group walk/run, or a fun game of softball, volleyball, bowling, or mini golf

For more ideas and for mom events going on in your area, visit the National Mom's Night Out website.

Essential Mom Skills - Overcoming Obstacles to Change

By Heather McCutcheon

Your kids are growing older and the outside world is changing more and more rapidly every day, but you’ve barely learned to manage yesterday’s challenges. How will you cope with this new set of rules? What kind of example will you set for your kids?

 

Stress and resistance are natural reactions to change, but they are never productive. Moms who want to navigate change smoothly and “be the change” they want to see in the world will be comforted and inspired by Lori Radun, Life Coach and author.

 

Here are Radun’s approaches to the five struggles everyone encounters when facing change:

 

1. Fear vs. Courage

Though everybody feels fear, successful people push through it and achieve their goals anyway.

2. Status Quo vs. Opportunities

Not only does stepping outside your comfort zone give you access to golden opportunities you would not otherwise have, it gives you a chance to make mistakes, which is the best way to learn.

3. Negative Thinking vs. Positive Thinking

Your brain is capable of both positive and negative thoughts. The ones that will win out are the ones you nurture.

4. Doing It Alone vs. Getting Support

Having a trusted friend or coach walk with you through the first scary steps towards a new goal can make the difference between immobility and success.

5. Control vs. Letting Go

Resistance to change will only make your life harder. Remaining flexible and going with the flow will bring some of life’s greatest rewards within reach.

 

Facing and Embracing Change is just one of 59 chapters in Lori Radun’s new book, The Momnificent! Life, Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms. Examples, case studies and action items in each chapter make it an invaluable guide for today’s moms. Radun’s openness and conversational style gives readers the feeling they’re sharing “Aha!” moments with a friend while they’re learning how to live more fulfilling lives. 

 

Lori Radun is a Life Coach,  mother of two and guru to conscious mothers everywhere. “I wanted to give moms simple tools to help them raise their energy, raise their morale, and raise their consciousness while raising great kids,” says Radun. “A grounded and happy mom will strengthen any family unit, and ultimately lay the groundwork for future generations.”

 

If anyone knows how to bring about change, it’s Lori Radun.

Moms, Think Bigger About Who you Are

On Saturday, I was scheduled to speak to a group of women attending Sisters Weekend in St. Charles.  Before my presentation, a woman by the name of Maureen O'Brien came up to me and introduced herself.  We had never met before but she told me she had been speaking for over 16 years, and she was the president of a personal development company for women called Celtic Connections.

Having something in common, we began to talk about the speaking industry and the world of coaching.  She understood what it was like to stand before a large group and share who you are  and what you know.  There is a certain vulnerability in doing that.  Wanting to encourage me, she took a pin off her sweater and pinned it on mine.  I looked down and dangling from the giant pin were beads and the letters B, G, P.  She said to me, "Now, you have your big girl pants on."  That pin and that little bit of encouragement helped me think bigger about who I was and what I had to offer the world.

Each and every one of us has the power to make a difference in this world.  We were each blessed with gifts and strengths that were designed to be put to use.  Some of us are artists.  Some of us can cook.  Others bring love and laughter to the world.  We moms are leaders of the next generation.  That is powerful in itself.

Michael Port has written a new book that I believe will help you think bigger about who you are in every area of your life.  There is no reason to play small in this world.  You get one shot at life, so why not make it your best life?  The Think Big Manifesto - Think You Can't Change Your Life and the World? Think Again is a guide to help you claim your greatness and use it to make a difference in your life and others.  Michael is using his gifts to help others claim theirs.  Hop on over to the Think Big Manifesto website and pick up your copy today.  Mine is on its way from Amazon.

Top 20 Things to Say NO to...

Saying no is an important life skill to create healthy, positive and authentic lives for ourselves.  Here are 20 things you can begin saying no to:

1. Say no to Guilt
2. Say no to Dishonesty
3. Say no to Breaking Your Commitments to Yourself
4. Say no to Putting Yourself Last
5. Say no to Overindulging
6. Say no to Procrastination
7. Say no to Perfectionism
8. Say no to Overworking
9. Say no to Unhealthy Foods
10. Say no to Hanging on to Anger
11. Say no to Allowing Fear to Stop You
12. Say no to Wasting Precious Time
13. Say no to Misusing Your Money
14. Say no to Trying to Control Everything
15. Say no to Abusive or Hurtful Relationships
16. Say no to Forgetting about God
17. Say no to Worry
18. Say no to a Victim Attitude
19. Say no to Yelling at our Children
20. Say no to Quitting when Things Get Hard

What else can we say no to?  Please share your thoughts.

6 Tips on How to Build Your Mommy Confidence

By Janie Behr, Life Coach

Being a mother doesn’t come with a handbook!  Many of us don’t live close to our immediate families and it takes time and effort to develop a new support system, new mentors and new information that will help a mom to feel more confident.  Mothers struggle everyday with decisions that need to be made for their children. 

Some of the haunting questions may be:

·        Is this pediatrician, knowledgeable, kind, empathetic and convenient? Interview three pediatricians before making your decision.

·        Is this the right school for my child? Will he/she be happy socially? Is this classroom compatible with his/her learning style? Go to school and become involved in their classroom. It won’t take long to find out.

·        What are the best foods to feed my child? Read the labels.

·        What medication to give him/her when they have a fever?  Ask the pharmacist questions. Many times they know more about the medications side affects than the Doctor.

How do I know this is the best decision for my child?  

6 Tips to help build a mother's confidence

1.      Go with your gut; trust your intuition, its always right!

2.      Do your homework and check out all options before making a decision.

3.      Don’t be afraid to change your mind!

4.      Think outside the box and ask questions!

5.      Enjoy this time in your life! 99% of what you worry about will never happen.

6.      Always do what is in the best interest of your child and don’t worry about getting the approval of others.

I have four wonderful adult children today and I struggled with these questions and many more throughout their lives. In fact, all four of them went to different schools because I thought they each had different learning styles. Today, I am confident of my parenting skills and can’t wait to learn all about the skills it takes to be a loving Grandmother.

 

Janie Behr, life coach, is an authority on the psychology of empowerment, leadership, diversity, negotiations, personal, and professional changes to help others create a life of meaning and purpose. She has impacted the lives of people from many diverse backgrounds with her public speaking engagements and live appearances, along with her audio products, articles, and messages on the value of our unlimited power to change. She is called upon by people from all walks of life to help them find a new direction.

www.JBLifeCoach.com

What Do You Buy the Mother Who Has Everything?

By Betsy Talbot

The mother I’m speaking of is Mother Nature.  April 22 is Earth Day, and this week people around the world are making an extra effort to be considerate of this little planet we call home.

 

But do we have to wait for Earth Day to show a little love?  Moms everywhere would agree that Mother’s Day is great, but a little appreciation those other 364 days would be nice, too.

 

How can your family help Mother Nature stay healthy every day?

 

Parents

Do you buy coffee on your way to work or to drop off the kids at school? Switch to a stainless steel mug and keep 250+ cups and lids from going to the landfill every year.

 

Buy your produce locally at farmers’ markets.  All that excess packaging and fuel for transport will be spared and you’ll be helping the local economy (not to mention eating fresher, more delicious food).  You can also teach your kids the skill of negotiation.

 

Keep a few canvas totes in your car or by your front door.  You’ll have much sturdier bags to carry groceries, and you’ll save all those plastic bags from going to the landfill.

 

Make it a habit to donate items quarterly – toys, clothes, food.  Almost all of us have more than we need, and donating regularly teaches your children to be compassionate to others and practical about their own possessions.

 

Kids

If you set up a recycling center in your home, your kids will be able to maintain it.  Even small children can put cans and cereal boxes in the appropriate bins, and they learn leadership skills when put in charge of a household task.

 

For every new toy a child receives, and old toy can be donated.  When we are less attached to material things we have more emotional and physical freedom.  What better age to learn this than before credit card eligibility!

Participating in a community cleanup project with a Scout troop, school, or other service program teaches children the value of teamwork.

 

Resources for Recycling

·        Find out how to recycle just about anything in your area at Earth911.

·        Remove yourself from junk mail lists at Catalog Choice or the Direct Marketing Association.

·        Teach your children about recycling at The Kids Recycling Zone.

 

Betsy Talbot writes about simplicity and lifestyle design at www.marriedwithluggage.com

A Mother's Book of Secrets

I've had the great pleasure of talking with Linda Eyres, NY Times bestselling author and founder of ValuesParenting.  She and her daughter Shawni Eyre Pothier have just co-authored a book called "A Mother's Book of Secrets".  She and I are both committed to helping moms on their journeys through motherhood.  Motherhood can be filled with joy, but also with its fair share of stress, worry and exhaustion.  With everything that needs to be done, it can be easy to get stuck in the trenches, wondering if our heads will ever be above water.  Linda has given me permission to share a little excerpt from their book called "Trenches Don't Last" by Shawni Eyre Pothier.

"My favorite motherhood quote is by Anna Quindlen.  It reads like this: "Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now.  Penelope Leach.  T. Berry Brazelton.  Dr. Spock.  The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete.  Along with 'Goodnight Moon' and "Where the Wild Things Are,' they are battered, spotted, well used.  But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories."  Then she goes on and talks about some of the mistakes she made while raising her babies.  "...the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make...I did not live in the moment enough.  This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs.  There is one picture of the three of [my children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6,4, and 1.  And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.  I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book bed.  I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less."

I remember the moment it became my favorite.  I was pregnant and had two young children only 14 months apart.  I was overwhelmed.  I couldn't keep up.  Without fail our two "babies" seemed to need opposite things at exactly the same time.  I found that as much as I was in love with these kids, I was chock full of "I can't wait 'til...'s.  I couldn't wait 'til Max could just feed himself or until Elle could sit up and entertain herself for a second.  It seemed to me it would be pure Heaven when I could sleep through a night uninterrupted until 7:00 in the morning.

I had been skimming through my Newsweek trying desperately to catch a glimpse into the real world...that world that had become foreign to me in many ways ever since I took on the title of "Mother".  Amongst the articles about politics and world affairs I came across Anna's article so articulately written about mothers.

As soon as I read the above paragraph tears were pouring down my cheeks.  Yes, I'm sure some of my pregnancy hormones were involved in my outburst, but most of it was the pure realization that I wasn't living in the moment enough.  Sure, the trenches of motherhood I was slogging through at that particular time of my life were deep.  I couldn't see out.  There was no light whatsoever at the end of the tunnel (at least not on that day).  But when I came to the paragraph I was struck with the thought that I needed to find the light in my trench of motherhood.  I need to soak up my babies.  Because if that poor Anna Quindlen was wishing she'd cherished the moment a little more, I was sure I'd be right there with her if I didn't get my act together and enjoy the "now" a little more.  Her trenches were gone...nothing but a faded memory.  Mine were still deep, and I was going to live it up in there."

A Mother's Book of Secrets displays beautiful pictures of children, as well as encouraging stories to give moms the lift we all need.  Organized into five major sections: Look for Light in the Trenches, Have an Organized Offense, Analyze, Kids are like Puzzles, and Give Ownership, moms will find short bedtime stories that will help her fall asleep with a smile.

A Mother's Book of Secrets is available through Amazon and other online retailers.

Spring Break Blues

I have to be the worst mother in the world this week.  While the rest of families are having fun on vacation, and doing special activities for Spring Break, my kids are sitting home doing nothing.  I can picture it now.  My seven year old will go back to school on Monday and stare at his Junie B. Jones first grade journal.  His most exciting event of the week has been watching our neighbors get something done in their backyard.  We can't actually see what is going on; we just sit and stare out the window watching the various trucks at work.

Even though I am quite busy at work, I had everything all planned out.  I was going to do some special things during the days with my kids (when I wasn't coaching) and then make up for lost work at night when my hubby got home.  Well, my best laid plans were thrown out the window on Sunday when I hurt my back.  Actually, I just bent over, and when you're over 40 and have had a previous back injury, that's all it takes.  So this whole week I have been unable to stand or walk without being in a lot of pain.  Even sitting for too long has been taxing.

For the most part, I have been keeping a fairly good attitude about this situation, but today I started feeling guilty.  Don't you just hate "mommy guilt"?  So I take myself through my own Guilt-free Parenting workshop, asking myself "Is this valid guilt or invalid guilt?"  Well, I do think it's valid guilt because I would like to be more involved with my children than I have been.  Then I realize I have fallen into Guilt Trap #1 - Feeling Guilt for Things We Can't Control.  Can I really control this back situation?  Although I would like to believe I can control it with positive thinking and massive doses of Ibuprofen, in the end, my back is going to heal when it's ready.

Plan B.  What are the positives I can draw from this situation?  I'm having a hard time coming up with any.  I can't do anything fun.  I can't go to Tae Kwon Do so I'm probably gaining weight!  My kids are bored, and I am a boring mother.  Aw, I got it!  I can't do housework or laundry!

Plan C.  Enough complaining; what is the solution?  Convince my kids that it's fun to lay in bed all day and watch TV?  Figure out some fun and creative activities we can do while laying around on the floor?  I think my seven year old had the best idea when he said, "We could get you a wheelchair mom."

Maybe when I'm 80 years old, but not a chance today.