The Momnificent™ Blog

My Teenager's Newest Identity

If there is one thing I've noticed over the last four years, teenagers go through a series of new identities throughout their high school years (at least mine has).  It's sort of like trying on new outfits.  They find a new outfit they want to try, and then they try it out for awhile.  After awhile they get tired of it, and they throw that outfit in the trash, and put on a new one. 

At first, it worried me to death because these new identities were not at all like the identities I tried to teach my teenager.  Then I realized that the identities are normally short-lived, and it's a phase they grow out of (usually).  I also understood that it's my teenager's job to freak me out by being as different from me as possible.  I think they do this on purpose just to tell us we, as parents, are so "not cool" anymore.  And in theory, they have to create different identities so they can break away from us and figure out who they really are.

Right now, my teenager thinks he's a dancer.  Not a jazz or ballroom dancer, or even a salsa or tap dancer.  My son is a jumpstyle dancer.  I know; I didn't know what it was either.  The fact is he's a pretty darn good jumpstyle dancer.  He even amazes me.

So here we were in my community home office last night, learning how to jumpstyle.  Normally I would just watch my teenager perform, but he wanted me to learn this type of dancing.  He even put on a YouTube jumpstyle tutorial so that I could watch the steps in slow motion.  In an effort to connect with my teenager on any level that I can, I actually attempted to jumpstyle.  Never mind that he rolls his eyes at me and says "No mom, watch me."  After about five minutes of this jumpstyle routine, I realized I was getting a fantastic aerobic workout.  I'm having fun with my teenager, connecting on his level, and doing something healthy for my body.  Can't beat that!

The next time your teenager comes home with a new identity, unless it's dangerous or harmful to his health, don't freak out.  Get to know your new teenager, but don't become too familiar because in a few more months, she might be someone new.

My teenager can actually dance just like this - he is really good!

Why Don't I Blog More Often?

As I was reading through a bunch of mom blogs this morning, I was asking myself, "Why don't I blog more often?"  Being that I am always analyzing my behavior, I came to the conclusion that I don't blog because I am waiting for some profound message to post.

The dialogue goes like this:  "You're a life coach; you're supposed to be inspiring people!"  "But I haven't received an inspirational message I can share."  "Why aren't you getting any golden nuggets delivered to you?"  "I don't know.  Life is getting in the way."  "Being a mom / business owner is hard work."  "Yeah, you're supposed to be handling life with ease.  That's what you teach others to do."  Right about this time, I want to tell myself to stop yacking.  It's my internal yacking that is blocking my creativity.

The truth is I'm a mom too, and my seven year old has been going through some tough problems at school.  It has been consuming my thoughts and zapping me of my creative energy.  I truly believe he can't help it, and I have stopped blaming myself as a parent.  I know I'm a good mom, and I know he's a good kid.  I'll tell you more about it as I learn more, but for now, I am trying to promise myself and you that I will blog more often.  Even if I don't have anything profound to share.  Because sometimes as moms, the profound doesn't matter.  It's just the day to day support and encouragement that we all need to get up everyday and do our best.