The Momnificent™ Blog

Blah Blah Reviews Shares Feedback on The Momnificent Life

ChristiS from Blah Blah Reviews says this about her most recent experience reading The Momnificent Life ~ Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms:

"It is obvious from the beginning of the book that Radun sincerely wants to do all she can to help others. The introduction gives a short description of the eight components that Radun considers essential to living a momnificent life. She then leads you through examining your own life balance and satisfaction, and introduces her readers to The Wheel of Life. By analyzing each of the eight essential components, one can get a better picture of where she might be out of balance. The introduction then goes on to give specific tips on how to maintain this life balance, and begins to look at the reader’s values, priorities, and choices. The reader is also encouraged to identify some aspects of life that might be draining her of energy.

And this is only the introduction!"

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The Decluttering Journey Continues

This is a story of my decluttering journey - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  It is my hope to motivate others to go through this process in their own lives.

Let's start with the UGLY.

Last night my husband and I (really it was my decision) decided to begin the process of tackling the crawl space.  Now the crawl space represents 10 years of living in this same home, as well as years and years of other people's stuff and memories.  I got this bright idea that we should pull everything out so we can see what's in the boxes and decide what we want to do with it.  About half way through just the process of pulling out the boxes, the overwhelm started sinking in.

There are going to be times when the whole process of decluttering simply brings up overwhelm and anxiety.  When this happens, it is so important to breathe through these feelings.  Do not give up, but continue to breathe and tackle the clutter a little bit at a time.  As you begin to purge and handle what's in front of you, you will gain momentum from the success and the releasing of blocked energy. 

If the overwhelm is more than you can handle, it is okay to seek support.  In my case, my husband and I were each other's support and will continue to be as we go through all this stuff.  Other support can come in the form of friends, family members and professional organizers.  Do not be ashamed of your clutter - be proud that you are taking responsibility to get organized.

THE BAD

Okay, I have to admit that the majority of the stuff in the crawl space is not my clutter.  It belongs to my husband, and this is where it can get tricky.  Whether the clutter belongs to another family member, or even a deceased loved one, there are still tactics for conquering it.  For me, I am fortunate that my husband has been influenced by my organized and "less stuff" ways for many years, and he is more willing to purge than he used to be.  However, he is a huge Rolling Stones fan, and he has quite the collection of stuff that he is not willing to part with.  Decluttering an entire home requires teamwork - all parties must be willing to face their resistance issues.  Decluttering is an emotional job - an unwillingness to face unpleasant emotions is one of the main reasons people resist getting rid of their stuff.  Our stuff holds a lot of emotional energy.

You may have a lot of memories tied up in your stuff.  While we can't possibly hang on to every object that represents a memory for us, it is still okay to keep some of those things.  Start a prosperity box for each person, and keep only the most significant items.  Take pictures of everything else and make a photo album or scrapbook of all the other memories you decide to part with - as my husband called it "memories of memories."

THE GOOD

The good news is I have been making a lot of progress.  I have completed 6 rooms/areas in my home now, and have 8 left to go.  This equates to being about 42.8% complete.  I cannot tell you how good this process feels.

For me, it's about honoring my need for organization in my life.  For years I have been complaining about all the stuff.in my house, but I have done nothing about it.  What good does it do to complain about something when we aren't willing to change it?  I feel proud of myself that I have finally decided to pay attention to my needs because I matter.  I am showing myself that I can do anything I set my mind to.  Only I have the power to change my circumstances, and the same goes for you.

Getting rid of my clutter is also about shedding stuff from my life.  It's about honoring my values to live more simply, and to lead my family into a richer existence.  Material things bring comfort for many people, but when we shed this comfort, we are forced to seek comfort in more meaningful ways - relationships and God.

My process of decluttering will continue, and I have no doubt, I will experience many emotional ups and downs, but in the end, I will be so happy, and the good energy will flow freely through my home.

Here are some pictures of the good things I have done - the organized and decluttered spaces.

This shelving unit used to be filled with lots of unused and old bath products; now the shelf is useful.

Containers are good, and so is labelling.

Under my bathroom sink - easy access to find everything I need.

Review of The Momnificent! Life by Kim Cantrell

I became a stay-at-home mom in 1996; and ever since the term - "stay" - has bothered me.

Webster's Dictionary defines the word as "to stop or halt," "remain behind, " and "continue in a place, position, or situation."

As far as I'm concerned, none of those definitions apply. Rarely do I have time to stop; nor do I feel left behind or as though I'm staying in the same place. (The latter could only be defined, in relation to my life, as wishful thinking!)

I am a work-at-home mom. Not to be confused with the work-from-home mother

.

I am a Manager; a manager of my household consisting of four children and a husband. My physical place of employment is at home.

Therefore, I am a work-at-home mom.

To define myself in a manner that brings me a sense of satisfaction - of accomplishment - was the very first of many important life-changing steps I learned from The Momnificent! Life by Lori Radun.

And then I was hooked!

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My Summer Project - Decluttering my Whole House

At the beginning of the year, I always set personal and professional goals.  The goals are typed up, hanging on my bulletin board, as a constant reminder of what I have left to accomplish.  One of my goals is to have my house completely decluttered by the end of the year.  Frankly, I've grown quite tired of complaining about all the unnecessary stuff in my house.  Since the clutter doesn't seem to bother anyone in my family but me, I thought I better take responsibility for my own happiness.

So this past weekend, I got this great idea (or not) that I would just work like a dog, declutter my whole house in one month, and end the summer with a huge yard/garage sale.  I got off on a great start.  I was motivated, and got the playroom decluttered, along with a few easier rooms like my younger son's bedroom, the powder room, and the family room, which virtually has no clutter.

Then yesterday I hit a wall.  The rest of the rooms have way more clutter and much harder decisions that need to be made regarding what I keep and what I sell.  It's not that I'm not capable of making these decisions, but sometimes too many decisions at one time can be overwhelming.  I've also realized I have very little support in this endeavor, and frankly, I could use some moral support right now.  My seven year old loves to stick the price tags on items, but that usually lasts about 5 mintues.  And then he abandons me to find something more interesting to do.

So I will take a deep breath and dive in again, keeping my eye on the end goal and the amazing benefits I will receive when my house is decluttered.  Anyone want to join me in doing a little decluttering, I could use the cyber support.  Leave your comments and let me know how you're doing.

Look how much I have to sell so far!

Childhood Fears: Helping Calm Their Anxiety

What makes children so different?  Some children are fearless, and as their parents, we wish they had more fear.  Other children, however, are extremely cautious and fearful of many things.  I have one of the fearful children, and his fears sometimes baffle me.  The other day I read that human beings are only born with two fears:  the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises.  That means that every other kind of fear is learned...fear of the dark, fear of monsters, fear of bugs, fear of water, fear of bad guys, fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, etc.

If the majority of fears are learned, that means they can be unlearned.  Fear can cause a lot of anxiety, and if the fear is great enough, it can paralyze us and our children.  Although fear is normal, one must develop courage to overcome his or her fears.  With adults, it can be easier to rationalize with them (although not always).  Helping children with their fears can be more difficult because their capacity to rationalize is limited, in addition to their ability to clearly understand or articular their fears.  But here are some tips for helping calm your child's fears.

1.  Acknowledge the fear.  Sometimes we need to help our children identify what they are feeling by naming the emotion.  "It seems like you are feeling afraid right now."  Do not ridicule your child for feeling afraid, but don't be overly protective either.

2.  Talk about the fear.  To the best of your ability, help your child articulate as much as he or she can about the fear.  If she says, I'm afraid of the water, ask her what specifically scares her about the water.  Listen with respect, and see if the two of you can formulate a plan for overcoming the fear.

3.  Reassure your child.  When feeling fear, your child needs to feel moderately safe.  Create some safety for your child by telling her what you or other people can do to help.  For instance, "I will hold you in the water, and I will not let you fall", or "I will walk with you to the door to ask your friend to play."

4.  Expose your child to the fear.  Our natural tendency is to protect our kids when they are fearful.  While many people will avoid their fears, avoiding does little to nothing for helping us overcome them.  Take small steps to help your child face his fear, all while you build his confidence.  "You see, it felt scary, but you're doing it."

5.  Examine your own fears.  It's hard to say where your child developed his fear, but it's possible it started within the family unit.  So put your own fears in check, and take steps to calm your own anxiety.  A child is very perceptive and can pick up on many uneasy feelings a parent expresses or exhibits.

A few weeks ago my younger son was invited to a roller skating party.  He had never roller skated before, and he refused to put on a pair of roller skates because he was afraid.  In an effort to help him overcome his fear and enjoy the party, I put on a pair of roller skates (even though I hadn't roller skated in 15+ years).  I even encouraged my husband to try roller skating, even though he had never roller skated (my husband wasn't too happy with me in the beginning).  We put a pair of skates on the floor next to Ian, and eventually he decided to put them on.  He scooted around the carpet area holding the hand of his older friend, and eventually he was shuffling along by himself.  Although the slippery roller rink was too much for him to handle that day, he at least tried it.

Fear is a normal part of life, but the courageous overcome their fears!  And we, as our children's parents, are instrumental in leading the way.

Book Trailer for The Momnificent! Life

Sometimes it can just be plain fun to get creative!  Accessing our creative selves puts us in higher energies, eliminates stress and relaxes us.  That's exactly what I did last night.  Here is my creative masterpiece.  Hope you enjoy it.

Review of The Momnificent! Life by Danelle Drake for Reader Views

Being a busy mother of four daughters I have often thought and sometimes spoken aloud: “Where is that mom handbook when I need it?” when situations are not going the way they should and I am at “wit’s end” as to how to fix it. I admit as I began reading “The Momnificient! Life: Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms” I first wondered how I was going to get through the 300 or so pages; then would any of the
information pertain to my life and enable me to find the balance I was looking for? The answer was
“ABSOLUTELY!” I seemed to move through the book with speed wanting to learn more and more, eager to implement what I was learning.

As described in the introduction “Momnificent is simply a concept that describes moms who value living
positive, healthy and balanced lives.” Little did I know, but for the past 21 years I have struggled to become Momnificent. A momnificent life is made up of confidence, the ability to set healthy boundaries, positive energy, healthy and supportive relationships, life balance, spiritual foundation, self-care, and being a nurturing and effective parent. Breaking down the way you experience your life into segments you will cover each concept and dissect how you are living. Each of the eight sections will be giving you a “Take Action Assignment” which will leave you with a great feeling of accomplishment when completed.

The process includes sections titled: Personal Development, Spirituality, Fun and Enjoyment, Relationships, Health and Aging, Personal Finance, Career and Profession, and Home and Family. Each section had me opening my eyes and making me realize that it is not always the situation that is the problem but my overly stressed reaction that was making things negative. I was putting so much effort into being the perfect mom that I was losing the fact that I was a human. Life is not perfect, children are not perfect, and parents are not perfect. The following quote from the book really hit home and made for a great beginning for me to proceed thru the process to becoming momnificient:

“The concept of balance defines our Universe. The cosmos, our planet, the seasons, water, wind, fire and
Earth are all in perfect balance. We humans are the only exception.” – Wayne Dyer

I will forever have this handbook, “The Momnificient! Life: Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms”
by Lori Radun and when I am in doubt and struggling, reaching for this book and re-reading whatever is
needed will be my solution. I know I will never be the perfect mom, nobody is; but I do know that now, in
my heart; I understand true balance and I am just as an important part of the puzzle as my children are. I must make sure I am balanced in order to assure their balance. Lori Radun has taken this magical thing called motherhood and made it Momnificent! As my journey through motherhood continues I am looking forward to my own Momnificent life!

Weighing In on your Child's Weight

Guest Author:  Abby Ellin

It happens almost every day: the mother of an overweight child approaches me and asks me what she can do to help her child. She doesn't want to make too big of a deal out of it, lest she cause an eating disorder. On the other hand, she doesn't want to ignore the problem, especially since fat can be unhealthy and, perhaps more specifically, overweight kids--heck, overweight PEOPLE in general--are treated so poorly in this culture. So what's a mom to do? It's a good question, and there are no easy answers. But I do know a few things, from my own experience as overweight adolescent, and from interviewing hundreds of kids and their parents on the matter.

And so, here are my top five tips (plus one extra!) for dealing with your overweight child:

Number one: Don't bug them about it! Chances are your child knows quite well that he or she has a weight problem; they don't need you to make a big deal out of it.

Two: That said...don't keep junk food in the house. Even if you have other children who don't have weight problems, this has to be a family effort. It's not fair to keep Twinkies and Devil Dogs in the kitchen cabinet and only allow certain members of the house to partake. The ENTIRE family has to get behind the child who is trying to lose weight. And anyway, junk food's not good for anyone (though let's be real--there are times when NOTHING beats a bucket of fries and a vanilla milkshake!).

Three: Be a role model. So many women have their own issues with their bodies, and they unwittingly pass their neuroses onto their offspring. Kids pick up on this, even at an early age. They digest those comments we all make: "Mommy's having a fat day!" or "My butt looks so huge in that!" It's best not to make weight a topic of concern, period. That means--yep--you might have to do a little introspection into your own feelings about size.

Four: Don't use the 'D' word. Diet is a terrible word; it's something you go on and off. For most people, weight is a lifelong battle; it doesn't get any easier, alas. It has to be thought of as a way of life, and not just something you do temporarily.

Five: Exercise! Unfortunately, so many schools have cut recess and gym, and kids are often tethered to their computers. It's no wonder there's an obesity problem. But there are gyms that cater to young people; there are video games, like Wii, that actually make you sweat (and burn a calorie or two). It's about being creative.

And lastly: Love them unconditionally! I've known kids who are perfectly fine with their size. It's their PARENTS who have problems with it. So if for some reason they're cool with their appearance, well, good for them! Unless there's a major health issue, if they're OK with their body size, you should be, too.

Abby Ellin is the editor-at-large for Fitsmi.com, and the author of "Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs in on Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help." You can find her at abbyellin.com

Search Inside The Momnificent! Life

Are you the type of person that wants to see inside a book before you buy it?  I know I am.  Amazon is now allowing you to search inside The Momnificent! Life so you can see for yourself if it's the type of book you would want to invest in.  You can now view the table of contents and read a portion of the 1st chapter - actually a very enlightening coaching exercise can be seen if you take a few minutes to view it.  This exercise is just one of the many exercises throughout the book.  Click on the book, and you'll be directed to Amazon to take a peek.

The Power of Moms: The Micro Matters - A Lot

Guest Author:  Saren Eyre Loosli

As I studied third world development and international relations in my undergraduate studies and went on to study what education is and what more it could be with my Masters, I figured out a whole lot of seemingly brilliant solutions to many vital issues.

But somehow I never quite got in the position to implement my ideas.  I did some cool things – worked in orphanages in Eastern Europe, did a little humanitarian work in Kenya and Bolivia, ran volunteer-promotion efforts nationwide, set up programs in needy schools....

...then I started having kids.

Because my fertility clock was ticking when I finally found “Mr. Right,” we started our family quickly, the kids came in quick succession, and thanks to a surprise set of twins, I had five kids in just five years.

I loved my kids dearly and was grateful that my deeply-held dream of having a family had come true.  But mothering didn't come as naturally to me as it does to some and life was pretty crazy for a while. The photo below captures a bit of how difficult those few years were.

As I struggled just to meet the basic needs of my children, I saw my personal need to be involved in the larger world drift further and further away.  I crammed bits and pieces of work for various worthy causes (part-time training and consulting for non-profits, service work for my church, helped a non-profit serving orphanages in Bulgaria get off the ground) in between naps and diaper changes and story time.  But mostly my life consisted of doing rather mundane and often unpleasant things for lots of noisy messy wonderful people with many mutually exclusive needs.

One day I read a quote by Mother Teresa's that stuck with me:  “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”  Motherhood is perhaps the greatest example of a long, long string of small things that, done with great love and extra thought, can have ripple effects that go on for generations.

I came to realize that maybe my “cause,” my purpose in life, was right under my nose.  Perhaps mothering my own kids, helping make the schools in my own community better, being a good neighbor and friend, and learning from and helping the other mothers around me was a much “grander” cause than any other I could pursue.

While it's true that my kids are informed about world issues and pray each night for the orphans in Bulgaria that we do a fund raiser for each Christmas, I hope my kids also are learning something it took me a whole lot of years to figure out:  Doing little things to better the world immediately around you and helping with the things you're already PART OF is vital and beautiful – and often more personally satisfying than trying to impact big groups and sweeping causes.

Taking treats to a lonely neighbor is just as important as sending money to a lonely orphan.  Offering friendship to a left-out kid at school is just as important as giving food to a hungry child in Africa.  Volunteering in my own kids' classroom is just as important as changing education systems.

AND... Helping bright, motivated moms find each other and share what they know is just as important as helping non-profits pool their resources and learn from each other.

The micro matters a LOT.  The macro doesn't happen without the micro.  It really is the little things that count.

You and I can change the world, by changing our world...

One person, one mother, one family at a time.

Starting right here with you and me.

Saren Eyre Loosli, mother of five kids in five years, and co-founder of The Power of Moms, holds a B.A. from Wellesley College and a Masters in Education from Harvard.  She's consulted and conducted training for numerous non-profits including the National Institute on Out-of-School Time, YMCA, public and private schools and One-Heart Bulgaria and has traveled to Africa and South America with Choice Humanitarian.