Dear Lori,
How can I have more patience with my two little girls (Ages 3 and 5), be kinder and gentler and enjoy being a mommy more? These days, no matter how hard I try, I am so short-tempered and I want to enjoy this precious time. I need help!
Dear Terri,
Being a mommy to two little children is rarely easy, but you are so right. It is a precious time as we watch them grow and learn so many new things.
It is hard for me to know exactly what is causing stress for you because you didn't share those details. However, I am going to try and assume some things based on my experience working with moms.
Young children, especially under the age of 5, can be tiring. They are full of energy and committed to learning about their world by testing the boundaries on a continual basis. This, in and of itself, can wear down even the most patient mom. It is extremely important during this time that we, as moms, are consistent with discipline so children learn what the boundaries are. If we can remember that our child's behavior is not intended to irritate us, but has a real purpose, it can help us be more patient with her. More often than not, there is a real physical or emotional need that causes misbehavior in children. By practicing proactive parenting, we can work to understand what is at the root of our child's behavior. When we can uncover the unmet need, we can develop solutions to problems rather than reacting to them. Understanding our children on a deeper level helps us be more patient with them.
Secondly, if you are like many moms, you may not be getting enough time for yourself to refuel. Raising young children takes a lot of energy, and when we run out of positive energy to give, we feel depleted and irritable. Moms of young children often lose themselves to motherhood. How often are you taking time for yourself to do the things you loved to do before you became a mother? Do you remember what those things were? When was the last time you went on a date or shared some fun times with a girlfriend, without the girls? It's so important to remember that while being a mommy is a big part of who you are, it is certainly not all of who you are. By taking time out (on a regular basis) to take care of yourself in ways that make you feel good and fill up your energy tank, you will be more emotionally available to your girls. When you feel happy, you will naturally be kinder and gentler with your children. Likewise, when you take time out to enjoy life, you will enjoy being a mommy too.
Again, I am speculating about what exactly is going on in your life, so if I have completely missed the mark, please don't hesitate to give me more information and ask more questions.
Coach Lori
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