The Momnificent™ Blog

80 Positive and Healthy Choices You Can Make for 2010

If you're anything like me, you are beginning to think about what changes you want to focus on for 2010.  In an effort to help you create a positive and healthy life, I am outlining 80 choices you can make for 2010 that will have a great impact on your life.  Pick your top five choices and formulate your plan to achieve these goals.

Personal Development

1. Stop comparing yourself to others and step into your beautiful self.
2. Push through the fear and boldly stretch your comfort zone.
3. Plan better so you can be on time.
4. Vow to end procrastination.
5. Adopt an attitude of excellence instead of perfection.
6. Pay attention to your self-talk - what's your mind saying to you?
7. Share your feelings and then release the ones that are dragging you down.
8. Practice extreme self-care.
9. Don't give up on your goals.
10. Get rid of that which robs you of confidence.

Spirituality

1. Be slow to anger.
2. Forgive quickly and often.
3. Give only with a spirit of love.
4. Take up some form of spiritual practice that fits for you.
5. Use your gifts and talents to serve the world.
6. Use your tongue to build people up.
7. Listen for the voice of God.
8. Pray for your family and others.
9. Let go of the fear and trust God.
10. Pick a charity to give your time or money to.

Fun and Enjoyment

1. Lighten up and laugh at life.
2. Savor the precious moments in life - there are lots of them.
3. Schedule fun for yourself on a regular basis.
4. Be fully present when you play with your children.
5. Take several mini getaways.
6. Listen to uplifting music and dance.
7. Find several reasons to smile everyday.
8. Be grateful you are alive.
9. Declare one night a week a "family fun" night.
10. Put as much energy into having fun as you do working.

Relationships

1. Stay connected to people who inspire you.
2. Set healthy boundaries with people who drain your energy.
3. Thank your family everyday.
4. Nurture your marriage with "date nights".
5. Communicate honestly and positively to people.
6. Make time for your friends with cards, calls, emails and get togethers.
7. Get out and meet new people.
8. Don't neglect your relationship with self.
9. Be spontaneous with your kids.
10. Give lots of hugs and compliments.

Health and Aging

1. Increase your fruit and vegetable intake.
2. Say no to stress.
3. Stop obsessing about losing weight - focus on good health instead.
4. Get your beauty rest every night.
5. Take the "dread" out of exercise by finding something fun to do for your body.
6. Eliminate just one unhealthy food or drink from your diet.
7. Eat dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate.
8. Stretch your body daily to keep your muscles limber.
9. Update your wardrobe so you feel good about yourself.
10. Take care of your skin.

Personal Finances

1. Stop using credit cards unless you can pay them off in full.
2. Cut out one area of frivolous spending.
3. Choose a percentage of money to put away in savings and stick to it.
4. Set up a "play" account that is used for nothing but having fun.
5. Find three ways to save money this year.
6. Set up a debt elimination plan.
7. Develop creative ways to increase your income this year.
8. Start a gift fund and contribute monthly to it.
9. Become intimately familiar with your finances.
10. Plan and pay cash for large purchases.

Business and Profession

1. Set your 3 most important goals to achieve this year and focus until they are completed.
2. Pick your top 5 marketing activities that will generate the most results.
3. Pick a business skill you can improve this year and work at it.
4. Give outstanding service.
5. Learn to delegate that which you dislike or are not skilled at.
6. Identify and communicate your personal brand in everything you do.
7. Make your work fun.
8. Give yourself permission to take breaks - it will increase your productivity.
9. Get rid of or develop team members that are dragging you down.
10. Align your personal values with your business or career.

Home and Family

1. Get rid of the clutter in your home.
2. Set up your space so it is easy to stay organized.
3. Decorate your environment to inspire you.
4. Create family traditions that communicate warmth and love.
5. Help your children set personal and academic goals.
6. Set up a family development plan to improve the areas you desire.
7. Make family communication a priority in the home.
8. Use family meetings to celebrate accomplishments and brainstorm solutions to challenges.
9. Develop a team atmosphere to family management.
10. Make only choices that support your family values, priorities and vision.

Happy New Year!!  For help in achieving any of these or other personal, family or business goals, consider making Momnificent! a partner in your success.

My 2009 Significant Life Events and What They Taught Me

If we let the years pass by without reflecting on what we've experienced in life, and how those events have grown us, we are likely to miss significant life lessons.  For me, life is too short for that.  I don't want my life to be just one big blur of forgotten memories.  Because I empower women everyday to embrace personal growth, I, too, choose to live my life in that way.  Here is a recap of the 2009 significant events in my life and how they have made me a better person:

Rebranded my Company - Momnificent! was Born

For several years, I operated my business as True to You Life Coaching, and then began calling myself "The Mom Coach".  I was in a phase of figuring out who I was as a business owner, and a coach.  I felt like I was all over the place - just blending in with the rest of the fish in the sea of coaches.  My vision was much bigger than that - my mission much larger.  In March of this year, Momnificent! was born!  Momnificent! is my baby - a reflection of my vision, my values, and my core energy.  Birthing Momnificent! helped me step into my creative self.  It has helped me show up in this world in a much bigger way.  Receiving a federal trademark on Momnificent! was a confirmation that the dream belongs to me - ready to be shared with any mom who wants to live a magnificent life.

Launched my first Book - The Momnificent! Life

As I write this, tears come to my eyes.  Unfortunately, not tears of joy, but tears of sadness.  Launching a book in this economy was not easy.  As a matter of fact, it was horrible, and my first ever book, has not been very successful in terms of sales.  I think what I realized, however, in the launch of this book, is that I never gave myself enough credit for achieving such a significant accomplishment.  I allowed the sales of my book to define whether or not I was successful.  I was successful when I published my book - I was successful when I finished writing my book.  The world, and its response to me, or my book, does not define my success.  This is a big lesson for me, and I want to embrace this accomplishment as a huge milestone in my life.  I poured my heart and soul into this book.  I gave of myself, and I opened up my life and all that it has taught me to touch the lives of other moms.  That is a gift I now choose to embrace.

Decluttered my Entire Home

This summer project was all consuming for the entire family.  This was a goal I had for years, but kept putting it off because of the magnitude of the project.  Clutter is one of those things in my life that drives me insane.  It drains my energy - energy that I need and want to invest in other areas of my life.  This event was a sign of freedom for me - freedom from the crap that was weighing me down.  With each new room that I decluttered, I felt that much lighter.  But the culmination for me was the big garage sale I had at the end of the summer.  My mother and I prayed that God would send lots of needy families that could benefit from everything we were selling.  God answered our prayers.  It brought such joy to me to see how many families I touched with my "stuff".  With a very small investment, people walked away with smiles and nice belongings for their families.  And we received the gift of a decluttered home and two days of connecting with people in the community.

Sent my First Born Away to College

Not only did my first born graduate from high school, he left to go to college seven hours away from home.  It was a year of tears for me - tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of fear, and tears of grieving.  Although I am so incredibly proud of my son, it's still hard to watch him go out on his own.  It's painful to see him make some of the same mistakes I made as a teenager.  I wanted to make all those mistakes for him, so he didn't have to.  I am learning how to be a different kind of mom - a mom of a young man that is turning into an adult.  Even though I still have an eight year old to keep me young, I am beginning to realize I am getting older.  What does that mean to me?  I'm not sure yet.  But one thing is for sure - it's hard and exciting to watch my family grow older.

Reconnected with my Father at my Brother's Wedding

There is little more significant that the relationship you have with your mother and father.  I haven't had a relationship with my father for over 20 years, primarily because I got tired of being the only one making an effort to connect.  When I stopped trying, we stopped talking.  So when I saw my father at my brother's wedding, I realized the "little girl" in me was still craving that relationship with him.  That little girl in me wanted to know if my father loved me - if he cared whether or not I or my children were in his life.  When I saw him trying to connect with my kids, I knew deep down he cared.  So I made a big effort to connect with him on a summer vacation.  I treasured the time I spent with him.  My soul smiled when I saw him playing with his grandson.  When my father picked out a birthday gift for Ian, one that he knew Ian would love, that's when I knew he loved him and me, because that's what he did for me to show his love when I was a little girl.  So I will move forward in my relationship with my father, doing my best to get to know him, and allowing him to see the daughter he helped create 46 years ago.

Landed a Feature Story in Best You Magazine

When I saw the media inquiry for beautiful women over 40 who had taken on a new sport after the age of 40, I only responded to have fun.  I did not intend to hear back from the magazine - I knew my chances were slim.  So imagine my surprise when I was selected to be photographed and interviewed for this magazine.  For me, this magazine opportunity is way more than a picture in a magazine.  It is about embracing what I have worked so hard on for years - taking care of myself physically and emotionally.  Practicing Tae Kwon Do has helped me step into my power as a woman.  It is a representation of what's important to me - fitness, confidence, self-control and discipline, perseverance, indomitable spirit, focus, peace of mind, balance, and integrity.  So to be honored in a magazine for practicing what I value is huge.  It is a outward expression of the personal and internal gift I give myself.

Attended Ali Brown's SHINE Event

Well, I didn't learn what I thought I was going to learn at this business event.  I went there to learn how to grow my business - to educate myself on the latest business models and marketing strategies.  Guess what I learned?  I already know the majority of all this.  So why did I think I didn't?  Why don't I trust myself?  Why do I think other people are the experts?  What I learned at this event was life changing - I am my own worst enemy.  I need to stop shrinking out of sight, believing that other people are so much more capable that I am. I need to go easy on myself as I navigate my way through owning and growing a business.  I need to believe in myself, and stop letting my level of financial success define me.  2010 will be the year I grow even more confident with myself.  I will stretch myself, but I will be kind to myself.  I will be who I am, trusting that I will connect with those who love me for me.

This has been a hard post for me to write.  It's not always easy to be vulnerable, but I choose to boldly express who I am, and what I've learned because I believe I will help others find the courage to boldly express who they are.  Here's to a great 2009 with all its joyous and painful lessons!  I welcome the lessons I will learn and the significant events I will experience in 2010!

Ingredients to Making 2010 a Momnificent! Year

JANUARY 2010 MOMNIFICENT MOM CLUB MONTHLY TELECLASS

January 6, 2010 (12:30 PM CST, 1:30 PM EST, 10:30 AM PST, 11:30 AM MST)

 

Teleclass Conference Number: 1-712-432-3100

 

Teleclass Conference Code: 641267

 

Ingredients to Making 2010 a Momnificent! Year

A new year is upon us!  Time to put 2009 to bed, and map out your plan to create the lifestyle you want for 2010.  Join Lori Radun, certified life coach and founder of Momnificent!, as she shares the specific ingredients required for making your life joyful and purposeful.  Engage in fun and reflective exercises that will bring about clarity, and hear inspiring and heartfelt stories of other women who are committed to creating positive and healthy lifestyles.  Walk away with the motivation and tools you need to make 2010 a momnificent year!

Guest Speaker:  Lori Radun

Lori Radun is a certified life coach, inspirational speaker and guru to conscious mothers everywhere.  Her mission is to provide simple tools to help moms raise their energy, raise their morale, and raise their consciousness while raising great kids.  She believes that a grounded and happy mom will strengthen any family unit, and ultimately lay the groundwork for future generations.

Eager to give mothers encouragement and support on their motherhood journeys, Lori founded Momnificent! where moms can go for expert advice, coaching and information on topics facing moms today.  In her award winning book, The Momnificent! Life – Healthy and Balanced Living for Busy Moms, Lori’s openness and conversational style gives moms the feeling they’re sharing “Aha!” moments with a friend while they’re learning to live more fulfilling lives.

Lori is the mother of two wonderful boys, the wife of a very supportive husband and a lover of books, chocolate and Tae Kwon Do!

Join the Momnificent! Mom Club for Free!

45 Life Lessons for 2010

A friend of mine sent me a beautiful powerpoint slide with 45 inspiring life lessons.  I got to thinking.  What would happen if each of us chose just three of these lessons to really live our lives by in 2010, how might things change?  Read these life lessons carefully, pick three, and post them somewhere where you will be reminded all year.  Watch and see how your life will transform.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone.  It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.  But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.  Don't save it for a special occasion.  Tod is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now.  Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words "In five years, will this matter?".
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything.  Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life.  Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day.  Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time.  You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. Know matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

    (Nov. 2009 He Yan)

For 2010, I am going to choose 13, 29 and 37.

How about you?  What three life lessons will you live your life by in 2010?

Join our Community of Magnificent Moms

One of the things I can honestly say was missing from my life this past year was a group of like minded mom entrepreneurs that I could network with, share life with, and learn from.  Sure, I have friends, most of which are moms, and some of which are mom entrepreneurs, but it wasn't enough.  I still found myself feeling alone on my journey through life.

That is why it was so important to me to create a community of like minded moms in 2010 who value living positive and healthy lives.  Not only do I want to share with other moms what I'm learning from life, but I want to learn from other moms as well.  I personally want to inspire and motivate moms, but I long to get that inspiration from others as well.

Back in November, I attended a business seminar and I was surrounded by amazing women for three solid days.  The energy was contagious.  We learned from each other.  We encouraged one another.  We brainstormed together, and we shared life together.  But what happens after the three days are over?  We all went back home.  I want that same energy and inspiration 365 days a year.

What I am hoping for in 2010 is that magnificent moms from all over the nation and world will join together in the Momnificent! Mom Club.  We have set up a place for you to network in our very own private social networking forum, learn from and be inspired by other moms on a regular basis, and record your experiences in your very own online private journal.  Fifty two weeks of journaling topics are provided to you for free - topics that encourage you to think about how you are currently living your life and how you might want to live differently.  One other added bonus is the Momnificent! Mom Club is run by me - a certified coach, and I am there to support you, encourage you, and help bring out your best self.

Registration is open and free to any mom who is ready to make some new friends, set up some accountability partners, or just socialize with other like minded moms.  To join, simply visit the Momnificent! Mom Club and register for the free Topaz level.  You will receive an email to set up your free member profile.  You can invite all your other friends to join as well.

Hope to see you inside the Momnificent! Mom Club!

Goal Setting for Parents and Couples

Yesterday I talked with one of my clients, and she shared a heartfelt story with me.  One of the things she and her husband have been wanting to do is participate in goal setting together for the new year.  Although my client is intimately familiar with the power of coaching, her husband does not have the same benefits.

When I told her about my Goal Setting Class that she and her husband could take online together, she was very interested, but she took it one step further.  After putting the kids to bed one evening, she and her husband opened a bottle of wine, fixed some cheese and crackers, and sat down at the computer to listen and watch the class, but more importantly, to set their goals for the new year.

Although each of them have two completely different areas they want to focus on (she, Healthy and Aging and Home and Family, and he, Fun and Enjoyment and Relationships), they now have a solid plan to reach what is most important to them in their lives.  They understand each others' goals, and they can work together to support one another in achieving them.

How would your life be different if you and your husband were intentional about setting goals and creating a plan to achieve them?  Instead of skipping the resolutions all together, why not come together as parents or as a couple to plan an amazing 2010 together?

The Goal Setting class will walk you through a life satisfaction exercise, guide you through creating your vision, and map out the exact steps you need to take to live the lifestyle you desire.

So break out the wine, cheese and crackers, and enroll in this online, multi-media goal setting class today!  What an awesome way to honor your partnership and your future together!

 

Overcoming the Challenges of Being a Mompreneur or Work at Home Mom

Normally when I am working, which is typically from 8:30 AM to 4:00 PM (and whenever I can slip some time in), I go in my office and pretend I am not home.  That means I do not answer my home phone and I do not allow myself to be distracted by laundry, Christmas presents or any other bright shiny object.  Yesterday, however, I must have needed a distraction because I chose to answer the telephone.

It was my mom.  She said to me "I wasn't expecting you to answer the phone, but I'm glad you did because I would have been mad if you were home and you didn't answer the phone."  Thankfully, I didn't react to that comment, and I chose not to even respond either.  It can be challenging being a mompreneur.  Sometimes people think because we work from home, we can just stop whatever we are doing and tend to the "home" needs.  A testimony to the truth of this is illustrated by my friend's dilemma.  She told me the other day she literally has to get in her car and drive down the block to make phone calls without interruption.  And as I write this blog post, I am interrupted by my husband's voice.  "Hey hon, where are those boxes you said we had to wrap gifts?"  As I stop what I am doing to show my husband the boxes, I am reminded of Brian Tracy's quote:

"By concentrating single mindedly on your most important task, you can reduce the time required to complete it by 50% or more.  It has been estimated that the tendency to start and stop a task, to pick it up, put it down and come back to it can increase the time necessary to complete the task by as much as 500%."

As mompreneurs, we do have the luxury of flexibility, but without some set of healthy boundaries, we will find ourselves far less productive than we desire.  Here are 10 boundaries that may help you separate home from work.

1. Decide up front what your working hours will be for the day, and do your best to stick to them.
2. If you have an unusually busy day, make sure childcare options are lined up, and don't feel guilty about needing help.
3. Have a plan at the beginning of your day what you will be working on, and avoid going off on a tangent.  This will increase your focus.
4. Make it very clear to your family and friends what your working hours are, and ask them to talk with you after work.
5. Have a designated office in your home, with a door.  Close the door and utilize a "Do not Disturb" sign when you cannot be interrupted.
6. Work on your self-discipline so you aren't distracted by things that pull you away from the task at hand - laundry, email, home phone calls, dishes, dad struggling to manage the children.
7. When work is over, work is over.  Avoid getting sucked back into the office.  Instead, enjoy your family.  Sometimes we have to set boundaries with our clients/customers as well.
8. If you need complete quiet to get something done, consider going to the library.  It's rarely quiet at home.
9. Batch your tasks and assign them to a specific day.  Follow up phone calls on Mondays.  Writing or creating on Tuesdays.  Client work on Wednesdays and Thursdays.  Finances and Admin on Fridays.  Or whatever works for your business.
10. Take personal breaks when you are working.  Breaks for lunch, exercise or just plain relaxing can re-energize you and make you more productive.

P.S.  Do not try to work with the baby on your lap.  Most babies aren't this cooperative.  :0)

Raising Emotionally Intelligent Boys (and Girls)

When I was pregnant with my first child, I wanted a boy, and I had a boy.  When I was pregnant with my 2nd child, I wanted a girl, and I had a boy.  Deep down, I believe God knew I would be a great mother to boys.  I was the perfect mix of boy and girl - emotionally sensitive, but athletic and competitive.  As human beings, we all have a combination of masculine and feminine traits.  What happens more often than not, however, is that one side of us gets squelched through socialization.  Girls are encouraged to "act like a lady" when the "boy" traits are showing up, and boys are taught to "be tough" or "act like a man" when the "girl" traits show up.

I didn't want to raise my boys like this.  I wanted them to know it was okay to feel emotions other than anger, and it was equally acceptable to express those emotions.  In a culture that judges boys who are sensitive, how do you raise emotionally intelligent boys?  Below are some tips that will help increase your child's emotional intelligence, and give them an advantage in creating emotionally healthy relationships as adults.

1. Start early and help your children name their feelings.  Get inside your child's shoes and imagine what they are feeling - fear, sadness, frustration, embarrassment, anger, etc.  Regardless of how they are choosing to express that particular emotion, use a simple phrase of acknowledgment that helps them identify what they are truly feeling.  Ex.  I bet you felt really embarrassed when your friend was making fun of you.
2. Avoid judging your child for the feelings they have.  I happen to have a boy who is extremely fearful of many things.  Instead of telling him he has nothing to be afraid of, I help him work through the fears.  I give him coping skills that help him to master fear.  When we judge or dismiss feelings, they only get buried.  Buried feelings will always resurface.  Give your child permission to feel whatever emotions he/she feels.
3. Teach your child to recognize feelings in other people.  Part of being emotionally intelligent is having the ability to sense another person's emotions, empathize with what they might be feeling, and express sensitivity to another human being.  Use books, movies, and live human interactions to discuss with your child what other people might be feeling.  Ask them why a particular person might be feeling the way he/she does.
4. Use various life contexts to educate your child about emotional intelligence.  As my teenager navigates the world of love relationships, I am constantly helping him to understand how women might feel in a particular situation.  There are so many emotional contexts that children are not familiar with or don't fully understand.  It is up to us to have conversations and equip them with the emotional tools they need to handle situations in an emotionally sensitive way.
5. Work on your own emotional intelligence.  Many adults struggle with understanding their own emotions and the emotions of others.  We all, at times, have difficulty being sensitive to other people, or expressing our emotions in a healthy way.  The more emotionally intelligent we become as parents, the healthier role models our children will have.

Introducing the Momnificent! Mom Club

Introducing the Momnificent! Mom Club ~ A Gem for Inspired Moms

by Heather McCutcheon

As our society trends towards becoming more evolved personally, professionally and spiritually, messages about pursuing these goals are popping up everywhere. What we haven’t seen are ongoing, user-friendly, affordable and livable means to accomplish them. Until now.

 

Lori Radun, author, life coach, keynote speaker and mom, has launched the Momnificent! Mom Club, a dynamic, multi-media program for busy moms to receive guided learning of important life skills. The Club is a progressive community that focuses on the continuous integration of healthy habits into daily life. Economical in its use of time, the Club is perfect for new moms, single  moms, working moms and veteran moms alike. 

 

Membership to the Club’s introductory level is free and includes live monthly teleclasses on topics ranging from time management and finances, to relationships and self-esteem. This “Topaz” level is perfect for newcomers to experience Radun’s wisdom and enthusiasm first-hand. Her followers will likely choose either the “Ruby” or “Emerald” level, where nominal monthly dues give them access to Group Coaching Calls, and online journaling and community networking platforms.

 

By far the most popular benefit of this Moms Club membership is the Monthly Action Plan. Members choose a track to pursue, either Momnificent! Life, Momnificent! Family or Momnificent! Biz, and receive an audio lesson and all the tools necessary to complete relevant exercises throughout the month. The Monthly Action Plan adds opportunity and accountability to incorporate the lessons learned into everyday life, and transforms “knowing” into “being.”

 

The combination of guided self-help, community support and personalized life coaching make the Mom Club unique. Convenience and affordability make it accessible to so many moms who might not otherwise pursue positive change in their lives.

 

Lori Radun isn’t just starting a club, she’s launching a movement, and busy moms will want to join in. Moms can find out more about Lori Radun and the Mom Club at the Momnificent! website, www.momnificent.com.

Gifts Everyone Appreciates

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about our Christmas list, and brainstorming ideas for Christmas gifts for everyone.  As I read through some of the names, I realized anything I bought for them would just be something they probably already have, or don't need.  I bet you have some people like that on your list.  I got to thinking about what gifts I could give that everyone appreciates and didn't clutter up the house with more "stuff".

Here are some ideas I came up with:

Donations to Charities:  The first thought that came to my mind was giving a donation in their honor to Feed My Starving Children or some other charity I know this person would align with.

Words of Affirmation:  My son Ian just received the best gift I have ever seen from his classmates for his 8th birthday.  He brought home a gigantic scroll that said "We like Ian because..."  Every child wrote down a reason they liked Ian.  When I read these words of affirmation back to Ian with joy and enthusiasm, he was grinning from ear to ear.  There was no doubt this gift filled his heart with pride for who he was.

Acts of Service:  What about giving coupons or gift certificates to people that entitle them to some act of service you know they would love.  This coupon entitles you to a weekend of relaxation - I will come and do all your weekend chores.  Or how about a promise to fix their favorite meal and dessert?

Gifts of Love:  Try offering someone genuine forgiveness, or unconditional love.  Give your loved one the gift of peace and quiet for a day.  Thanking someone for the great person she is, or for all she gives and does.  Promise someone you will truly listen without distractions.  Growing your character to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, attentive, gentle, faithful or reliable is one of the greatest gifts you could give someone.

Homemade Gifts:  I am a big advocate of thoughtful gifts.  Nothing speaks more to "thoughtfulness" than something you have taken time to make.  Whether it is a batch of cookies with a personalized note, a homemade Christmas ornament, or a personal poem, homemade gifts say "I care enough about you to spend time on you."  One of the gifts my husband often makes for people is personalized music CDs, with music that communicates a certain theme or specific message.

Inspiration:  One of my favorite websites is Simple Truths.  They have so many inspirational books, movies and pictures.  What person doesn't need positive messages on a regular basis they can read or listen to?

This holiday season, you don't have to wrack your brain or pick out another tie you know your loved one doesn't need.  Use your love and creativity to give a gift that will leave an impression.